5 Steps When Stepping into a New Leadership Role – Guest Article by Sarah Dionne
As the new kid on the block in a work or internship environment, at times, we can feel less than accepted – especially if we are taking on a leadership role. This can also be prominent when a coworker steps into a management position, which can be a hard transition.
I recall being an intern as a school counselor at a kindergarten. My role at that time was to identify kiddos that seemed like they needed some extra support, consult with their families, meet with children during school hours and work with teachers to find ways to integrate useful behavioral strategies into the classroom. I can tell you that, at first, this did not go over well…at all. I was the new kid on the block and the teachers, who had been working hard for those students day in and day out, felt their toes being stepped on. I met a lot of resistance. Frequently teachers chose not to refer kiddos to me even if problems were presenting.
Why? Not because they were ignorant or misguided. It was because of a natural resistance many of us have to new input or new influence. A defense mechanism, if you will.
This same situation could be applied in nearly any work environment; stepping into a management role as an “outsider”, becoming the new resident doctor on a medical team, moving up from co-worker to shift supervisor. Once in this new role, perhaps you find team members less than helpful or even dismissive. Perhaps they do not seek your help when appropriate but that of a trusted co-worker or circumvent your position and speak to someone “above” you. All of this can feel frustrating and confusing.
Here are five methods to help manage this type of situation. These strategies changed my own perspective as an intern, enabled me to engage school faculty and, eventually, the teachers who were previously most resistant were open to my support and referring kiddos for services. I continue to use these strategies as my role as a psychotherapist within an agency. Lets face it. Work relationships can be bumpy at times. Having tools to keep them as smooth and collaborative as possible will only amplify your ability to be effective.
1. Don’t Take it Personally!
The very first strategy is to refrain from personalizing other’s behaviors. Assuming that you are acting in a respectful and professional manor, if team members are resistant to you than, in all likelihood, it’s not you. There could be innumerable factors causing him to experience resistance ranging from discomfort with change to missing the previous supervisor with whom he felt connected. Step back. Take a breath. It’s not personal.
2. Always, Always, ALWAYS Come from a Place of Loving Kindness
If your team’s defenses are up, becoming irritated with them will only solidify their resistance. How to melt resistance is through kindness. People love to hear about the good things they did or are doing. People love to see a smile and hear a pleasant “how are you?”. However, the key to loving kindness is this: authenticity. In order to be authentically kind to people who may not always be kind to you is to realize that their behavior isn’t personal (ah…and the strategies build.)
3. Ask for Help
For me, this was one of the most powerful methods of breaking down resistance and can also align with delegation. Just because you are in a supervisory role does not mean that you need to know everything. You do not need to prove yourself to anyone. After all, you are now in a leadership role because you currently possess the abilities to master the position. The proof will be in the pudding as you effectively manage your responsibilities. Because there is nothing to prove, this means that asking team members for help does not create an appearance of incompetence. Rather, it creates an environment of collaboration.
Returning to my time as a social work intern, I begin to ask the most resistant teachers for help. I asked for their opinions on how to best appeal to parents and for their insights into the kids’ troubling behaviors. Any time I sent an email to a faculty member that identified concerns or a plan of action I included at the end, “any thoughts?”. Whenever possible, I would use their contributions and thank them for all their help. After some time, attention and effort all of the teachers were referring kiddos to my services and some even invited me into their classrooms for observation or support.
4. Acknowledge Your Mistakes and Apologize
By this, I do not mean begging for forgiveness or being overly apologetic. All too often, team members have their shortcomings pointed out or corrected, however, the “boss” may not point out her own when applicable. This creates the appearance that the supervisor may see herself as “perfect”, and your employees will not respond well to this. They want someone who is on their side, who gets that she is not perfect either and is willing to step up. If a mistake was made and it had been your responsibility, graciously say, “hey, that was my bad, this is how I’m fixing it. Apologies.” Short, sweet, but accountable.
5. Maintain Connection With Your Team Members
Swing by, say “Hi.” If you work in an office, take a minute to stop in to see each individual while being sure to use the employee’s name. This does not have to be a sit down chat, just a pop in, “Hey, just saying good morning, John”. If your team is feeling resistant to you this means there is also a disconnect or distance in the professional relationship. Effort needs to be made to close the gap. Why use the employee’s name? You might guess because it shows you actually know his name while also personalizing your good morning. While this is definitely is true, that’s not the primary reason.
We love to hear our names. When parenting infants and young children it’s encouraged to say the child’s name in positive ways, “Jenny, you are so good at that” or “you’re so funny, Bobby”. A child identifies the name as himself and, therefore, when he hears it in a positive way, he feels like he is valued and worthy. And guess what, subconsciously, it still matters to us as adults. When we hear our names used in positive or gracious ways it builds on an internal sense worth. Your employees and coworkers will unconsciously feel more valued, an essential component to an effective work environment.
What to Do When it Doesn’t Work
An important point to mention is that not all people will respond positively no matter what you do. It is profoundly important to avoid demonizing resistant employees and to manage any resentment you have toward them. If a coworker overhears you negatively speaking about another coworker this is going to immediately incite distrust. “If he can talk that way about her, then what about me.” Furthermore, resentment can create unconscious favoritism and can be divisive in a team environment.
So, how do you manage the employee that simply won’t warm up to you? Return to the first strategy and repeat. If you are continuing to create a united work environment, regardless of singular resistance, it will minimize any disruption his or her negativity might create.
One final note… enjoy your new role. You’ve worked hard. You’ve earned it. Anyone who has yet to understand that will in time. And congratulations.
Sarah Dionne is a psychotherapist and life coach, she specializes in anxiety, body image, eating disorders and trauma. If you’re interested in working with Sarah visit her website to schedule a Free Consultation: www.sarahdionnelicsw.org
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