Real Life Diagnostics: Does This Scene Keep Readers Interested?

Critique By Maria D'Marco

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines. 

Submissions currently in the queue: Three

Please Note: As of today, RLD slots are booked through May 18.

This week’s questions:

1. Is there telling, instead of showing?

2. Backstory present? (My first line indicates backstory but am wondering if it’s okay, since it’s a bit of a hook. Suggestions appreciated.)

3. Does this scene work? Makes sense, flow well, keep reader interest?

Market/Genre: Inspirational Romantic Suspense

This is a resubmit so check out the original if you'd like to see how the writer revised.

On to the diagnosis…
Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com