The I-94 Murders selected Best New Romance of 2018.

Upcoming Events:
Frank will be speaking on The I-94 Murders at the Ortonville and Graceville Public libraries on Saturday, April 27, 2019.  Frank will speak at the Graceville Public Library at 10:30 a.m. located at  415 Studdart Ave, Graceville, Minnesota.  Frank will then speak at the Ortonville Public Library at 2:00 p.m., located at 412 2nd St NW, Ortonville, Minnesota.May 7, 2019, presentation on The I-94 Murders at the Lake Elmo Library in Washington County located at 3537 Lake Elmo Avenue North, Lake Elmo, Minnesota. 6:30 p.m.May 24, 2019, Frank will be speaking at The Center in Brainerd on The I-94 Murders and writing True Crime mysteries in Minnesota.  The presentation is open to the public.  The Center is located at 803 Kingwood Street, in Brainerd, Minnesota. 12:00 p.m. There are many ways people give to communities and I’m thankful to know so many wonderfully kind people.  I am writing a college Human Development textbook that I plan on giving my students free access to online and giving away at cost for people who want hard copies.  I simply got fed up that the text I was using cost $250 a book.  At a community college there are many students who can’t afford to pay for their text until their financial aid comes in, which is often a couple weeks into the semester.  I also want to address current issues that texts aren’t addressing such as vaping, sexting, consent, pornography and development of healthy intimacy.  Here is a section from Chapter 7 (Adolescence) of the text:

Statutory Rape = Sexual behavior that is consenting, but by statute (age) is illegal.

The age of consent for sex in Minnesota is 16.  This means that a 16-year-old is old enough to consent to a sexual relationship.  This doesn’t mean that you should engage in a sexual relationship at 16.  It simply means you won’t get into legal trouble if your partner is consenting and at least 16.  If a person is under 16 years of age, they will not be in legal trouble if they are within 2 years of age.  For example:  A 17-year-old will not be in legal trouble for sexual behavior with a 15-year-old if the behavior is consenting and they are within 24 months of age of each other.

With all of this said, make love matter!  Sexual behavior can be a beautiful way two lovers express their affection for each other.  Sex doesn’t create intimacy.  The intimacy needs to be present first.  Sex outside of this context is basically shared masturbation.  People who are great at intimacy do not have a lot of sexual partners.  Make your sexual behavior meaningful!

How do you learn intimacy?  First be a good friend to someone, and then take those friendship skills into a relationship.
Sexting = Sending someone a naked picture over a phone or the internet. It is illegal to possess a naked picture of someone under the age of 18.  (Obviously we are not talking about baby pictures.) If a 16-year-old sends a picture of her bare breasts or bare genital area to her same age boyfriend both she and her boyfriend can be charged with Possession of Child Pornography.  The same charge is applied if he sends a picture of his bare genital area.  Keep in mind, if you’re in college you will be applying for jobs that do background checks.  It may be difficult to get an interview with a child pornography charge in your history.  More importantly, there is much to be said for modesty.

Pornography = printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of nudity or sexual activity, intended to stimulate erotic, rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings.

Pornography is alluring.  If there wasn’t an attraction, millions of people wouldn’t use it.  But keep in mind, just because something is alluring, doesn’t mean it’s good for you.  Methamphetamine is alluring and makes people feel good momentarily also, but it also destroys lives.  Rats have a similar limbic system to humans. When rats are taught to push a bar to receive the same stimulation in their hypothalamus that humans receive when they access pornography, the rats push the bar until they’re dead.  They don’t eat or drink water.  They just keep pushing the bar.  I have to believe a life means more than just reacting to arousal.   There is a site called, Fight the New Drug, that gives details of how accessing pornography damages relationship.  Imagine the betrayal a partner feels when she, he, or they finds out the person they care about needs to look at someone else for arousal.  Accessing porn makes you less caring about people and more focused on stimuli.  In addition, it eats up time you could have used to be a better partner, friend, musician, etc.
Accessing pornography can become addicting.  Addictions develop by using a stimuli (porn or a drug) in response to an emotion.  They are overcome by committing to another behavior every time that emotion occurs.  Neural paths used, become stronger.  This is how addictions develop.  When you start using paths, other than the addiction, your resistance becomes stronger. Recognizing the prevalence of this issue, I wrote a treatment workbook to help individuals titled, The Guide to Addressing Sexual Obsessions, that can be used to overcome a sexual addiction.  It can be purchased at CORE Professional Services by calling (320) 202-1400.

Porn creep = When an individual is no longer able to become aroused by normal sexual activity as a result of accessing excessive amounts of pornography.
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The reason most of the adults involved in pornography are barely 18 (if they are indeed adults) is because the industry looks for vulnerable people who haven’t clearly established an identity.  Almost half of all sex workers, including prostitutes in Minnesota, are under the age of 18.  If you believe there is no relation between pornography and sex trafficking you are deluding yourself.
Nearly 400 children have been rescued and 348 adults arrested following an international child pornography investigation in Canada in 2013.  The three-year undercover project was set in motion by Toronto police officers after they discovered a man had been sharing “very graphic images” of child sexual abuse.  What they eventually found was a full blown child porn production and distribution company in Toronto that was distributing content online to people across the world.
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Revenge pornography and deep fakes are illegal, damage families, and have driven people to suicide.  Consider the narcissism, or self-centeredness, that must be present in a person who would publicly destroy another person. 
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Deep fakes = Using technology to place a photo of someone else’s face on a naked body.

Revenge porn = Sexually explicit images or videos of a person posted on the Internet, (typically by a former sexual partner), without the consent of the subject and in order to cause them distress and embarrassment.

Narcissus is a figure in Greek mythology who fell in love with his reflection in a pond, and eventually drowned in the pond.  Narcissistic personality disorder refers to someone who has inflated sense of self-importance.
 
Drug Use and Abuse
Drug abuse = Drug use that impairs a person’s psychological or biological wellbeing.

Drug addiction = When a person craves more of a drug in order to feel physically or psychologically at ease.

Gateway drugs = Drugs such as vaping & tobacco, alcohol, or marijuana.  They are called gateway drugs because their use is often the initial step toward drug abuse and addiction.  The earlier an adolescent uses these gateway drugs, the more likely they are going to have an addiction as well as problems related to violence, early sexual activity, and school failure.  There is a link between the occasional use of gateway drugs and later drug abuse and addiction.  There is also a link between early use of gateway drugs and violence, early sexual activity and school drop outs.  Avoiding or postponing the use of gateway drugs is one way to make drug addiction unlikely. Vaping
Vaping and E-cigarettes are exploding in popularity, and are being used by both adolescents and adults. It’s important to understand that they are not a safe alternative to smoking cigarettes. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) supports efforts to prevent youth from using or being exposed to the vapor from e-cigarettes.
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E-cigarettes, personal vaporizers, vape pens, e-cigars, pod systems, e-hookah, or vaping devices, are products that produce an aerosolized mixture containing flavored liquids and nicotine that is inhaled by the user. E-cigarettes can resemble traditional tobacco products like cigarettes, cigars, pipes, or common gadgets like flashlights, flash drives, or pens.The solution in e-cigarette devices and vapor contains harmful chemicals like antifreeze either propylene glycol or ethylene glycol), diethylene glycol, and carcinogens like nitrosamines which can cause cancer.The nicotine in e-cigarettes is addictive and can harm brain development.Individuals who vape or use E-cigarettes are actually more likely to smoke cigarettes.In some cases, e-cigarette devices have exploded, causing burns or fires.Second hand smoke from vaping or from e-cigarettes is harmful to growing lungs.
Thanks for listening,

​Frank