It’s Try Not to Kill Your Dog Day!

I just made that up. Apparently, it’s not a real holiday. But
wait for it. There is a much better one. Today, April 17, is Blah, Blah, Blah
Day. That’s right! It’s copyrighted too! (So I suppose I should site the
owners, Wellcat.com.) Blah, Blah, Blah Day is supposed to reference the
Honey-Do list. Like, “Blah, Blah, Blah,” (insert your hubby’s name here) as he
rolls his eyes at you.

It got me thinking about how this day and other lunatic
ideas got to be listed as a celebration. Turns out, all you have to do is
register your holiday with the US Copyright office. The next step is to get it
into the book – Chase’s Calendar of Events. Those folks are fussy however, and in
order to get a listing, you have to prove it is a real day. You’ll need
documentation, or photos, or theme parties, something to prove it is not theoretical.

How about Let’s Get Drunk Day. I’m positive I could provide
the necessary supportive images to prove that is a thing. What about Game of
Thrones Day? That probably should have been on Sunday, April 14 when the final
season kicked off.

My day, Try Not to Kill Your Dog Day, has not been
copyrighted. It should be. I can barely type from the hand injury I sustained this
morning being mauled to release a frisbee. I’ve an entire list of reasons the
dog should be grateful we are keeping her around. After regaling my friend about
my troubles with Gemma, she told me that I should be nicer to her. Um hm. My friend is coming over for happy hour this
week. I will not put Gemma in the kennel for the visit. We’ll see if she
whistles a different tune when she leaves, covered in saliva, sporting bruises,
and urine soaked, I’m sure.

For those of you who are concerned about my treatment of Gemma,
I will pat you on the head and encourage you to relax. We’re getting her help
and training. Also, we love the damn beast. If you’ve read my other blogs, you’ll
recall that she sleeps with me. Help and training are also on the calendar for
George and I. (See holiday entitled Let’s Get Drunk Day.) Later this week, she’s
also going to our local boarding place for a trial day. They call it a temperament
test to see if they’ll accept her for boarding. I can’t wait to see what they’ll
say.

In closing, let me alert you to the best forthcoming holiday….National
Donut Day. Mark your calendars! June 7! Get out there early, because those
donuts fly off the shelf. I don’t know why this holiday gives me such a thrill,
but it does. It represents absurd happiness brought on by an utterly unhealthy food
product.

I can’t wait! See you in line! Or in a bar! Or at obedience class!

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