squirrels are evil

Today I wrote a large check to the very nice man who trapped the squirrel that’s been living in one of my walls.

See, everybody thinks squirrels are cute, but they’re actually evil little monsters. I once saw a squirrel bite off the head of a field mouse. And the field mouse was still alive to appreciate the experience.

When JRR Tolkien wrote the first draft of THE LORD OF THE RINGS, originally the true shape of the Dark Lord Sauron was a form which reflected his evil, which of course was that of a giant squirrel (pictured above). Later, after squirrels started living in his attic, Tolkien was pressured to revise THE LORD OF THE RINGS to omit that scene, but we all know the truth!