30 Things I Learned in my Twenties
1. Jesus saves. From grief, depression, anxiety, car-accidents, sin, mistakes, bad-breakups, financial woes, insecurities. All of it. Jesus saves. He saved me everyday. It’s only by grace that I made it to #SosoThirty. I’m still making it. God has taken care of me. I have a responsibility to take care of His people too.
2. Family doesn’t necessarily make you friends. Friends have the aptitude to become family. Nourished relationships are life-giving.
Pruning is necessary. In gardens and in relationships. Sometimes I will be the one being pruned. That’s okay.
3. Distance doesn’t break genuine bonds, so move. As much as you need to, to find yourself. There is nothing like turning the key to your own home.
4. I don’t have to do life alone. I wish I learned this in my early twenties, rather than my late twenties. But I’m grateful I learned it anyway. Whether in a pit of depression or financial turmoil--tell someone trusted. You don’t have to do it alone. Community is a non-negotiable.
5. Therapy is God-sent. Thank heavens for Dr. Morris. She showed me, me.
6. Vacations matter deeply. Beach, sun, a good massage, escape, good food recalibrate me. Recalibration with people are amazing. Recalibration alone is vital. Recalibrate as much as you can.
7. #SelfCare isn’t a spontaneous treat. It’s an intentional, curated way of life.
8. Unresolved trauma breeds more heaviness. Anxiety and hypertension sometimes aren’t rooted in poor diet and exercise but sometimes they are rooted in grief, and unspoken pain. Mom got sick. It doesn’t mean I will too.
9. I wanna be a teacher. I am an educator. This is the career path for me. I was meant to do this. I am good at it.
10. Sometimes sleeping with my phone on Do Not Disturb is an act of trust and faith. It reminds me that I cannot save any of my loved ones from calamity in the middle of the night or ever. Only Jesus can. Rest, fully. It’s okay to turn your phone off to recharge.
11. There is no reason to be insecure about saving myself for marriage. Any person that judges me for that choice, is not committed to understanding me well. Sexuality can be complicated as a single (Christian). If I don’t address certain things, it will come spilling out of me in inappropriate ways.
12. Taking myself on a day-date is nice. Buy flowers. Buy candles. Sit alone at a restaurant. It’s necessary. I’ve gotta like me, if I expect others to love me. Sitting in a coffee shop makes me really, really happy. So keep doing that.
13. Drink water. Lots of it. My bladder doesn’t thank me, but every other part of me, especially my skin.
14. Small-talk is brutal for an introvert. But deep conversations and relationships are sometimes birthed from trivial ones. So talk to folks, even if uncomfortable.
15. Celebrate yourself often. Don’t minimize birthdays or milestones. People will celebrate you as much or as little as you opt to celebrate yourself. Make a big deal of yourself. You’re a big deal.
16. I’ve got control issues. That’s why I hate flying.
17. I can still honor my father, even if he didn’t live up to my expectations of what he should have been to me, as a child and as an adult.
18. I carry tension in my body, namely my back and shoulders. Doing yoga and stretching is beneficial--but be careful with all that other occult mess. The enemy is real, even if I can’t see him.
19. Soul ties are real. I can be madly in love with the absolute wrong person. Dating apps ain’t for me. Keep hoping feverishly in love. It’ll come. I will be married. And happily. With many kids. I’m holding to God’s promise.
20. Grief changes but it doesn’t evaporate. I miss my mother. No matter how old I get, there will always be a 14 year old girl in me that needs tending to. Be tender with her.
Forgive my family for, in many ways, allowing me to grieve alone. In dismissing their hard grieve, it didn’t give me the space to grieve alongside them. It doesn't mean they didn't love my mom.
21. Every dog is a therapy dog. Dog-parks make me happy. Bizoux makes me happy, even though I am allergic to him. He’s worth every Zyrtec. He just is.
22. My friends with financial literacy. Talk to them often about it. I can’t manage my money well, no matter how intentional I am, unless I have the right information and resources.
23. Writing heals the over-thinker in me.
24. My body is changing yo. My teeth are sensitive to the cold. I need stronger deodorant. I developed allergies and hives. How sway? Pay attention to your body: especially the changes.
25. I am strong, resilient, filled with grace. There is no need to diminish that to make someone else comfortable with their own self. We are masters at projecting our own stuff onto other people. People will project their stuff onto me. It is my responsible to discern who I let in. It’s not my responsibility to handle everyone’s stuff.
26. Stay humble. Stay close to my humility no matter what position I have, how many books I publish. It’s all God anyway. Humility is beautiful. Elitism is wack.
27. Forgiveness is an ongoing process. Do not throw people away. People are not things to be discarded. Discernment, compassion, intentionality & understanding are necessary when deciding when to work on a relationship that has changed & left you reeling, & when to love from afar. Never stop loving though--never.
28. God loves meme more than I do. There is never a need to worry incessantly about my loved ones. God loves them more I do. Period. Be easy.
29. I don’t like it when people disagree with me.
30. Do my own taxes for as long as I can. I trust myself. There are frauds out here that cost me. I will also learn more when I actually do them myself.
2. Family doesn’t necessarily make you friends. Friends have the aptitude to become family. Nourished relationships are life-giving.
Pruning is necessary. In gardens and in relationships. Sometimes I will be the one being pruned. That’s okay.
3. Distance doesn’t break genuine bonds, so move. As much as you need to, to find yourself. There is nothing like turning the key to your own home.
4. I don’t have to do life alone. I wish I learned this in my early twenties, rather than my late twenties. But I’m grateful I learned it anyway. Whether in a pit of depression or financial turmoil--tell someone trusted. You don’t have to do it alone. Community is a non-negotiable.
5. Therapy is God-sent. Thank heavens for Dr. Morris. She showed me, me.
6. Vacations matter deeply. Beach, sun, a good massage, escape, good food recalibrate me. Recalibration with people are amazing. Recalibration alone is vital. Recalibrate as much as you can.
7. #SelfCare isn’t a spontaneous treat. It’s an intentional, curated way of life.
8. Unresolved trauma breeds more heaviness. Anxiety and hypertension sometimes aren’t rooted in poor diet and exercise but sometimes they are rooted in grief, and unspoken pain. Mom got sick. It doesn’t mean I will too.
9. I wanna be a teacher. I am an educator. This is the career path for me. I was meant to do this. I am good at it.
10. Sometimes sleeping with my phone on Do Not Disturb is an act of trust and faith. It reminds me that I cannot save any of my loved ones from calamity in the middle of the night or ever. Only Jesus can. Rest, fully. It’s okay to turn your phone off to recharge.
11. There is no reason to be insecure about saving myself for marriage. Any person that judges me for that choice, is not committed to understanding me well. Sexuality can be complicated as a single (Christian). If I don’t address certain things, it will come spilling out of me in inappropriate ways.
12. Taking myself on a day-date is nice. Buy flowers. Buy candles. Sit alone at a restaurant. It’s necessary. I’ve gotta like me, if I expect others to love me. Sitting in a coffee shop makes me really, really happy. So keep doing that.
13. Drink water. Lots of it. My bladder doesn’t thank me, but every other part of me, especially my skin.
14. Small-talk is brutal for an introvert. But deep conversations and relationships are sometimes birthed from trivial ones. So talk to folks, even if uncomfortable.
15. Celebrate yourself often. Don’t minimize birthdays or milestones. People will celebrate you as much or as little as you opt to celebrate yourself. Make a big deal of yourself. You’re a big deal.
16. I’ve got control issues. That’s why I hate flying.
17. I can still honor my father, even if he didn’t live up to my expectations of what he should have been to me, as a child and as an adult.
18. I carry tension in my body, namely my back and shoulders. Doing yoga and stretching is beneficial--but be careful with all that other occult mess. The enemy is real, even if I can’t see him.
19. Soul ties are real. I can be madly in love with the absolute wrong person. Dating apps ain’t for me. Keep hoping feverishly in love. It’ll come. I will be married. And happily. With many kids. I’m holding to God’s promise.
20. Grief changes but it doesn’t evaporate. I miss my mother. No matter how old I get, there will always be a 14 year old girl in me that needs tending to. Be tender with her.
Forgive my family for, in many ways, allowing me to grieve alone. In dismissing their hard grieve, it didn’t give me the space to grieve alongside them. It doesn't mean they didn't love my mom.
21. Every dog is a therapy dog. Dog-parks make me happy. Bizoux makes me happy, even though I am allergic to him. He’s worth every Zyrtec. He just is.
22. My friends with financial literacy. Talk to them often about it. I can’t manage my money well, no matter how intentional I am, unless I have the right information and resources.
23. Writing heals the over-thinker in me.
24. My body is changing yo. My teeth are sensitive to the cold. I need stronger deodorant. I developed allergies and hives. How sway? Pay attention to your body: especially the changes.
25. I am strong, resilient, filled with grace. There is no need to diminish that to make someone else comfortable with their own self. We are masters at projecting our own stuff onto other people. People will project their stuff onto me. It is my responsible to discern who I let in. It’s not my responsibility to handle everyone’s stuff.
26. Stay humble. Stay close to my humility no matter what position I have, how many books I publish. It’s all God anyway. Humility is beautiful. Elitism is wack.
27. Forgiveness is an ongoing process. Do not throw people away. People are not things to be discarded. Discernment, compassion, intentionality & understanding are necessary when deciding when to work on a relationship that has changed & left you reeling, & when to love from afar. Never stop loving though--never.
28. God loves meme more than I do. There is never a need to worry incessantly about my loved ones. God loves them more I do. Period. Be easy.
29. I don’t like it when people disagree with me.
30. Do my own taxes for as long as I can. I trust myself. There are frauds out here that cost me. I will also learn more when I actually do them myself.
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