The "Write" Words Sound Right
When editing your manuscript, it's funny how you can reread the same paragraph over and over again to no avail. Then, one day--not sure why exactly--it's like the stars have aligned. And with a few tweaks, the "write" words click.
I'll give an example from my young adult manuscript that's currently #onquery with publishers. Here's the old text:
"Run-off soaked into the soles of my shoes. Taxis were lined at the curb like hyenas waiting for a kill. The soft lighting from the creperie laughed at me. And I was now holding a girl's hand. Her strawberry blond curls were somehow familiar--but tighter than I'd remembered--like the moisture was clinging to them for hope."
By removing a few unnecessary connectors and adding one decisive adjective, the flow improves. Check out the revised text below.
"Run-off soaked the soles of my shoes. Taxis lined the Parisian curb like hyenas waiting for a kill. The soft lighting from the creperie laughed at me, and I was now holding a girl’s hand. Her strawberry blond curls were somehow familiar—but tighter than I’d remembered—the moisture clinging to them for hope."
Maybe the aha moment is just mine alone, but it feels better now--which matters--because it motivated me to take on another round of edits, and that's a good thing.
After recently devouring Stephen King's ON WRITING, my take-away is two-fold. First, write for one person--the ideal reader--not your grandma or your first grade teacher. Second, move the pages along like a screenplay, because readers have to stay hooked.
If you haven't read his book yet, add it to your TBR pile. And no matter what happens, keep writing, keep editing, and NEVER give up!
--Dianne :)
Dianne Bright has written for a variety of magazines including Scholastic. She is currently finishing book #2 of her #ya duology that is on query with her agent, Hope Bolinger. She recently outlined for an #mg series set in New Zealand as well.
I'll give an example from my young adult manuscript that's currently #onquery with publishers. Here's the old text:
"Run-off soaked into the soles of my shoes. Taxis were lined at the curb like hyenas waiting for a kill. The soft lighting from the creperie laughed at me. And I was now holding a girl's hand. Her strawberry blond curls were somehow familiar--but tighter than I'd remembered--like the moisture was clinging to them for hope."
By removing a few unnecessary connectors and adding one decisive adjective, the flow improves. Check out the revised text below.
"Run-off soaked the soles of my shoes. Taxis lined the Parisian curb like hyenas waiting for a kill. The soft lighting from the creperie laughed at me, and I was now holding a girl’s hand. Her strawberry blond curls were somehow familiar—but tighter than I’d remembered—the moisture clinging to them for hope."
Maybe the aha moment is just mine alone, but it feels better now--which matters--because it motivated me to take on another round of edits, and that's a good thing.
After recently devouring Stephen King's ON WRITING, my take-away is two-fold. First, write for one person--the ideal reader--not your grandma or your first grade teacher. Second, move the pages along like a screenplay, because readers have to stay hooked.
If you haven't read his book yet, add it to your TBR pile. And no matter what happens, keep writing, keep editing, and NEVER give up!
--Dianne :)
Dianne Bright has written for a variety of magazines including Scholastic. She is currently finishing book #2 of her #ya duology that is on query with her agent, Hope Bolinger. She recently outlined for an #mg series set in New Zealand as well.
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Loved your comments. I see lots of maturing in this brief commentary. Can't wait to read everything you write!!