I didn't win. And I'm okay with that.

So this year, I clearly didn't win NaNoWriMo. It's the first time since 2006 that I haven't won, and it's my first year not winning as a staff member.

This just wasn't the year for me. I couldn't get into my story idea (in spite of the incredible ideas offered to me by the NaNoWriMo community in response to my staff video). I didn't have a lot of free time. Throw in my epically awesome trip to San Francisco right during crunch time when I should have been writing, and I just plain ran out of time.

And you know something? I'm okay with that.

It's not the first year I haven't won. It's always real life kicking me in the teeth. One notable year, it was because I had a baby. For some reason, the doctors frown on noveling while delivering a baby. I have no idea why… I think all the AAAAGGGHHH and shrieking would have been great for my word count. I totally could have turned on Dragon Naturally Speaking!

Wouldn't have been very readable, though. Probably thin on plot.

So this year, I only got a little over 9,000 words. But you know what I did? 

I got to explore characters I've never met before. I got to collect some really awesome ideas for future use. I got to meet hundreds of people from all over the world at the Night of Writing Dangerously. I got challenged to a word war by Chris Baty. And beat the pants off of him.

I have 9,000 words I didn't have before.

To quote one of our esteemed MLs, Saker Pup: 

Every time you try something new, you risk failure. That's why most people who aren't small children don't try new things.

They spend their lives creating a routine that will insulate them from doing anything unfamiliar because most people can't do unfamiliar things perfectly. And if you don't know exactly what you're doing all the time, you might accidentally screw something up and fail.

I'll tell you a secret: I fail at most things, at least at first, and it hasn't killed me yet.

Failure isn't something to be afraid of. Failure means I tried.

Failure is the process I must endure before I can achieve success.

Failure is beautiful.

I might not have won NaNoWriMo 2011, but I don't feel like a failure. If anything, I did something that millions of people worldwide will never do. I tried. I wasn't afraid of starting. I did do something amazing! 

And I'm not done yet. I have a new story, with a new plot… and I'm going to keep on writing, no matter what. And in December, I'll have more time!

– Heather Dudley

Photo by Flickr user HorsePunchKid