“Who the Fuck Am I?”: The Ultimate Guide to Personal Values

For the last few years, I’ve had an idea for a satirical self-help article called, “The Productivity Secrets of Adolf Hitler.” The article would feature all the popular self-help tropes—goals, visualizations, morning routines—except expressed through the exploits of Hitler.

“Hitler starts his day at 5 AM each morning with a quick round of yoga and five minutes of journaling, he’s able to focus his mind on his highly ambitious goals.”

“Hitler discovered his life purpose in a beer hall in his...