Let a Big Strong Man Save Me? You Betcha.

Edward: So what happens after he [the prince] climbs up and rescues her?
Vivian: She rescues him right back.

Remember that famous ending exchange from Pretty Woman? There it is, in a nutshell. In romance, there is a lovely enduring trope. A man rides to the rescue of the heroine, when she’s threatened by bad things, whereas she provides him a rescue from his personal demons. Love is all about saving one another, in big and small ways.

What are the three most romantic words my husband can utter or imply? “I’ve got this.” I love it when he takes charge, whether it’s opening a door for me, taking my hand to guide me up the aisle of a movie theater, telling me to sit down and relax while he handles making dinner, etc.

Years ago, we woke up in the middle of the night, hearing a sound that was very much like someone trying to break into the house. Before I could draw a breath to say, “what was that?” my normally mild-mannered husband was out of the bed, had picked up a bat and was in the living room, everything about his body language broadcasting, “You are not getting past me to hurt my wife.” Without an ounce of shame, I can tell you my immediate reaction (after we found out the noise was something one of our pets had knocked over) was, “that man is totally getting lucky tonight.”

There is an instinct deep within us that appreciates a man’s willingness to protect and fight for us. It goes back to caveman days, I’m sure. Don’t get me wrong. I love kickass heroines. But I’m all for men cultivating their instinctive protective side. Let them have the honor of that warrior mantle when the opportunity presents itself. They’re frankly really good at wearing it and, in books and other storytelling media, they’re awesomely hot when they do.

The In Death series by JD Robb is one of my favorites. While there is no doubt Eve Dallas is a scary, kickass cop (and I adore that about her), I love that her husband Roarke has a dominant, protective personality and has saved her, more than once.

Does that suggest I think a woman can’t “save herself?” Oh please. I am 51 years old. I don’t need anyone to tell me that women are strong. I’ve loved and lost, endured heartache and disappointments, in life, family and love. I’ve learned that many joys are bittersweet and you have to pick up and go on, even when you really don’t think you have the strength to do so.

There’s another quote, from an old Patrick Swayze movie, Steel Dawn. He tells a heroine who’s lost her husband and had to carve out a place for herself in a brutal post-apocalyptic world, “You should be proud of what you’ve done to care for yourself and your son.” [paraphrased from memory – why don’t I have this movie on my shelf?] Her somewhat petulant reply is “Only because I had to.”

Lol…that response always tickles me, because I understood it instantly. When you have to do it all without help, you persevere, survive, fight for yourself and those you love. But it really is SO nice when there’s someone in your life willing to share the part of that load that isn’t your preferred area of expertise. Like a guy willing to fight bad guys and keep them from destroying your post-apocalyptic compound in the desert.

Women are good at so many things. We’re multitaskers. We’re caregivers and nurturers. We juggle responsibilities between work and home in ways that would cross the eyes and panic many a Y-chromosome bearer. And don’t mess with those we love, because we will end you. So yes, we can learn to do it all. I know a woman can save herself if she has the right resources, intelligence luck, timing, what have you, depending on the situation. But I’m okay with letting guys be the hero of the action story. Please, jump in there with both feet, save me from those railroad tracks and carry me from danger in your manly arms. I’m totally there.

Men are strong in different ways from women, and those strengths complement and mesh with ours, when we respect and appreciate them in one another. That’s the key to viewing it the right way, a way that doesn’t tear anyone down, in my opinion.

On a closing note, there’s also another really important side to this. Men are trying to actualize themselves as much as we are. A man can be struggling just as hard to realize his own dreams, what he imagines himself to be in his community and for his family. Quotes like these from Linda Gillard’s beautiful book Star Gazing say that best. Nobody delivers a different perspective better than a character from a favorite book, right?

* * *

“Keir, I wish you’d stop behaving like something out of Jane Austen,” Marianne said.

“Why?”

“Because it makes me feel like something out of Jane Austen.”

“And that’s bad?”

“Yes.”

“Because you’ve spent your whole life trying not to feel helpless.”

“Yes,” she replies, lifting her chin. “I have.”

He is silent for a moment and regards her tired, wet face, framed by hair hanging in sodden rat tails. He shoves the case back into the car and she feels the Land Rover sink as he sits beside her. “And just supposing I’ve spent my whole life wanting to be a hero?” he says.

She puts her head to one side like a bird, as if listening more intently. “Have you?”

“Aye. Some.”

* * *

Have you read my new FREE novella, revisiting our favorite characters, Mason and Jessica, from Beloved Vampire? Go here to download Close Shave. And don’t forget there are over a dozen free novellas and shorts revisiting characters from my series on the Cantrips page on my website, in all the popular download formats.