Neo-Levels of Bullet Dodging

We dodged a bullet yesterday. Actually we dodged a tornado, but it felt like we were under fire. While we did have a tree down, we have no structural damage. The tree landed on my office, but I had that joker built to storm-shelter specifics, so the tree is just sitting on the roof. If you look closely in the bottom right hand corner you can see my walker. Yes, it’s back to the walker because I also fell and cracked my head open last week, so yay, me, right?

[image error]

Third month of the year and I have dealt with the Septic Tank Apocalypse, the massive fuckery and fuckup that is Amazon’s merger with Createspace, and now a close-call with Mother Nature. I think it’s easy to say it’s been a bad year for me, but I’m trying to remain positive. Years ago, I would have melted down after one of these events. Not now, though. And part of that is due to the amazing support of the community on Twitter, Patreon, and YouTube. Many thanks, folks.

I wanna talk about this Createspace fuckery a little more because I truly cannot believe how bad it is. Forget the shipping delays and price increase. How about this: I submitted the paperback version of EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE NOW three weeks ago and they denied it saying the final size of the cover should be 11.27”. I’d submitted 11.26” based on an old Createspace template. Oops. No harm, no foul. So I upload one for 11.27” and…they denied it again. This time they said it should be 11.26”. What the fuck? Anyway, so I revert to the first size, and guess what? They sent another denial stating it should be 11.27”. No one is willing to help at Amazon, either. They all say, “The book must meet the required dimensions.” Or in Amazonian, “Fuck off, pleb.”

At this point I’m tearing my hair out. I’m unbelievably close to nuking everything I have on Amazon and taking my books elsewhere, or only selling them through my website. Would that hurt my income? Of course, but this name isn’t my only source of writerly income anyway, plus there’s the YouTube ad money, so I’d be fine. The only issue is, that decision would alienate new fans and I hate the thought of that. But they’re being alienating anyway. It’s daily I’m asked when the paperback version of EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE NOW is coming out and every day I have to offer up the excuse that I’m at the mercy of the Great and Mighty ‘Zon.

At the moment I’m trying to alleviate stressors, so I’m staying away from social media even more than I was before. I’m cutting my hour-a-day down to thirty minutes and focusing on preparing the CRUELTY AND JOY chapbook series for Patreon.

By the way, if you haven’t signed up for that yet, the deadline is March 31. Just an FYI, I won’t be publishing anything under this name for the next five years anywhere other than Patreon. I don’t use Patreon to pay bills. 100% of the money raised on that site goes right back to the Patrons in the form of free paperbacks and chapbooks. I also use the money to source editing and cover art, like the fantastic cover for CRUELTY AND JOY that A Stranger Dream created for the serial. Just amazing work, and absolutely perfect. That’s pictured below. If you click on the cover art, it’ll take you to Patreon, where you can sign up.

[image error]

And finally, I haven’t read much of shit this week. We started the absolutely massive HOUSE OF LEAVES buddy read on March first and I just got through the introduction last night. Chelle and I have put pause to THE HUNGER because it turned into a romance, and neither of us enjoy the genre, so I’m not sure we’ll ever finish it. I started reading HOUSE OF LEAVES to her and so far we’re both enjoying it.

I think I’ve gone on long enough for today. How have y’all been? Lemme know in the comments below. Thanks again for all the support and well-wishes on Twitter in lieu of the storm. You guys are awesome.

E.

Important videos of the week: