Honeest Thoughts
Wherein Jack had a thought.
This has been on my mind for a while, I don't know if this is the right site to share it on or my project site. Maybe I will post it on both.
I am surrounded by friends and family, my age and younger than me, getting married and having babies. Not that I am bitter about that fact. But what is it like to be 31 and not even be dating or even know anyone who has shown interest in me?
There is also the question I face very often. What if I am never healed to the point where I could date and marry and be a mom? I know, "Now, Jack, don't be dramatic." But this is a very real possibility for me.
So what should I do? What DO I do? I was upset at first. I've never been a romantic, but like most girls I dreamed of getting married and having my own family. I even have names for children should I have any and should my husband like the names too. But what if I never get to use them?
I've heard so much advice written for single girls still waiting for their "Prince Charming."
I will share my advice. Though mine is different than others and directed more toward advice to myself as I believe most of my readers will one day find themselves in relationships if they haven't already.
It took me years to come to the realization I might not be able to marry, or have a relationship in marriage like others. That if I do marry it is going to look very different for me. I was angry when I realized this, angry and sad. I cried a lot and lost my temper a lot over things not involved with the issue.
So what changed? Nothing really has. It still makes me sad and angry, though I've learned to control that anger and also the sorrow. (Basically I went through the stages of grief).
What has helped me though is opening up about it. Talking with my best friend and my "sisters". And knowing my life isn't going to end because I might not be in a romantic relationship.
I put more of my time and effort into my interests and callings from God and found peace there. I talked with another single girl who also may not ever marry. And I realized the relationship of a friend can be just as meaningful as that of a spouse.
Also I realized how much I have come to rely on Dog, my dear pet and gift from God.
Some girls are called to a single life, but we live in a world where romance is shoved down our throats and shown that if one isn't in a romantic relationship they are less of a human. Are missing something vital.
Am I opposed to romance? Of course not. I celebrate it with my friends. New babies, marriages, engagements. I am happy for them.
But at the same time I have come to be happy where I am right now. God has given me tasks and I will accomplish them to the best of my ability. And if my single status changes then I know it is because God wills it. But until then I am truly happy.
This has been on my mind for a while, I don't know if this is the right site to share it on or my project site. Maybe I will post it on both.
I am surrounded by friends and family, my age and younger than me, getting married and having babies. Not that I am bitter about that fact. But what is it like to be 31 and not even be dating or even know anyone who has shown interest in me?
There is also the question I face very often. What if I am never healed to the point where I could date and marry and be a mom? I know, "Now, Jack, don't be dramatic." But this is a very real possibility for me.
So what should I do? What DO I do? I was upset at first. I've never been a romantic, but like most girls I dreamed of getting married and having my own family. I even have names for children should I have any and should my husband like the names too. But what if I never get to use them?
I've heard so much advice written for single girls still waiting for their "Prince Charming."
I will share my advice. Though mine is different than others and directed more toward advice to myself as I believe most of my readers will one day find themselves in relationships if they haven't already.
It took me years to come to the realization I might not be able to marry, or have a relationship in marriage like others. That if I do marry it is going to look very different for me. I was angry when I realized this, angry and sad. I cried a lot and lost my temper a lot over things not involved with the issue.
So what changed? Nothing really has. It still makes me sad and angry, though I've learned to control that anger and also the sorrow. (Basically I went through the stages of grief).
What has helped me though is opening up about it. Talking with my best friend and my "sisters". And knowing my life isn't going to end because I might not be in a romantic relationship.
I put more of my time and effort into my interests and callings from God and found peace there. I talked with another single girl who also may not ever marry. And I realized the relationship of a friend can be just as meaningful as that of a spouse.
Also I realized how much I have come to rely on Dog, my dear pet and gift from God.
Some girls are called to a single life, but we live in a world where romance is shoved down our throats and shown that if one isn't in a romantic relationship they are less of a human. Are missing something vital.
Am I opposed to romance? Of course not. I celebrate it with my friends. New babies, marriages, engagements. I am happy for them.
But at the same time I have come to be happy where I am right now. God has given me tasks and I will accomplish them to the best of my ability. And if my single status changes then I know it is because God wills it. But until then I am truly happy.
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