Losing Two People You Care About Does a Number on Your Writing Mojo
We're three months into 2019 and I am already off track with my writing goals.
No, this is not due to laziness or distraction.
You see, in late November, I lost a dear friend and her death really threw me for a loop. Somehow, I managed to finish NaNoWriMo even though I lost all steam and all motivation when I found out about her death. Understandably, I found myself feeling incredibly sad and sometimes a little hopeless and with no inspiration but I kept chugging along.
In late December, after housesitting in England for a week, I felt like my writing mojo returned. I'd started plotting a novella for an upcoming anthology and was feeling really positive about the coming year. And then, on 2 January--the day before my birthday--my younger brother died. I am still reeling from his death. It feels like it has sucked everything from me.
I manage to get things done for the freelance projects I've committed to but for my fiction projects my output has been nil. I've been trying to write my away through my grief but it's not really happening.
I have so many projects I want to work on but there's this gaping hole inside of me that is where my brother and my love for him lived.
The only thing I have managed to do is go through the first draft of Imagine Me & You and make notes of what needs to be fixed and where I need to add scenes. I haven't managed to write any of those scenes yet. I hope I can soon. I really wanted to release it already now in March but that will not happen. Not when I am still missing my younger brother and wishing I could have done more to keep him healthy and alive.
I don't know how many people are even interested in my books these days, but if you are, just know I haven't forgotten you. I am still grieving my friend and my brother and wishing they were both still in my life. And sometimes writing doesn't feel that important. I'm hoping this feeling will go away soon. I miss writing. I am trying to write every day. But some days the words just refuse to come no matter what I do. And sometimes the only thing that helps is disappearing into someone else's book.
I haven't given up. I hope soon I can have some news about when something new will be published.
No, this is not due to laziness or distraction.
You see, in late November, I lost a dear friend and her death really threw me for a loop. Somehow, I managed to finish NaNoWriMo even though I lost all steam and all motivation when I found out about her death. Understandably, I found myself feeling incredibly sad and sometimes a little hopeless and with no inspiration but I kept chugging along.
In late December, after housesitting in England for a week, I felt like my writing mojo returned. I'd started plotting a novella for an upcoming anthology and was feeling really positive about the coming year. And then, on 2 January--the day before my birthday--my younger brother died. I am still reeling from his death. It feels like it has sucked everything from me.
I manage to get things done for the freelance projects I've committed to but for my fiction projects my output has been nil. I've been trying to write my away through my grief but it's not really happening.
I have so many projects I want to work on but there's this gaping hole inside of me that is where my brother and my love for him lived.
The only thing I have managed to do is go through the first draft of Imagine Me & You and make notes of what needs to be fixed and where I need to add scenes. I haven't managed to write any of those scenes yet. I hope I can soon. I really wanted to release it already now in March but that will not happen. Not when I am still missing my younger brother and wishing I could have done more to keep him healthy and alive.
I don't know how many people are even interested in my books these days, but if you are, just know I haven't forgotten you. I am still grieving my friend and my brother and wishing they were both still in my life. And sometimes writing doesn't feel that important. I'm hoping this feeling will go away soon. I miss writing. I am trying to write every day. But some days the words just refuse to come no matter what I do. And sometimes the only thing that helps is disappearing into someone else's book.
I haven't given up. I hope soon I can have some news about when something new will be published.
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