Identifying Unclaimed Emotional Baggage

Being Brave Enough to Deal with Our Stuff

by @bethvogt

Last weekend one of my closest friends texted me this question: When does all the baggage stop bubbling to the surface?

Her question is a bit of a mixed metaphor, yes, but still it brought to mind a vivid image: a murky lake filled with suitcases bobbing to the the surface.

Works for me.

In her next text, my friend answered her own question: Oh, yeah! When I deal with it.

I mulled over her personal Q&A for the rest of the day.

I didn’t bring a lot of personal belongings into my marriage.

Unclaimed baggage, yes.

Belongings, no.

I was a just-turned 21-year-old finishing up my junior year of college when I got married.

My mom took me shopping a few weeks before the wedding. She instructed me to wait in the dressing room and tossed various outfits into me, making certain I had some sundresses and shorts and tops suitable for my new married life in California. My wardrobe filled a single suitcase.

Besides the one suitcase, I also brought along some emotional baggage I didn’t bother to claim for quite a few years. I stuck it out of sight, not mentioning it to my husband. But with each move we made—back across country for Rob to go to medical school or to Andrews Air Force Base where he started residency or overseas to Turkey—I lugged those virtual bags with us.

I didn’t discuss the contents of those unopened bags until I was in my early thirties.

There comes a time when you have to say, “Oh, that luggage? Yeah, that’s mine.”

And then you have to deal with your stuff.

I didn’t deal with my history of abuse until I was 33 years old. And when I say “deal with,” I mean I started to examine the possibility of what had happened. I was 36 years old when I finally admitted the truth.

What can I say? I unpack slowly.

When we ignore unclaimed baggage for most of our lives, deciding to acknowledge we even own that “suitcase” is a monumental decision. Opening it and sorting through the contents is on par with an emotional earthquake.

Reality is, when we don’t deal with something tragic or traumatic that occurred in our lives years ago, it’s still affecting us. And because it’s affecting us, it’s affecting other people in our lives, too.

Unclaimed baggage messes with everyday life. It’s like the decision we make anytime we come home from a trip: unpack the suitcase now or unpack the suitcase later? Wait until later? We’re walking around the thing sitting in our bedroom, banging our toes on it, shoving it out of the way, and all the while the dirty laundry is festering.

Not dealing with my past meant I believed lies about myself – and those lies affected my relationships with others and with God. Facing my past allowed me to move forward with honesty about who I was and what I wanted.

Was it hard? Was it painful? Was it worth it? Yes. Yes. Yes.

Each one of us has to decide what we want to do with our emotional baggage: ignore it and let it affect us and our relationships … or unpack it and deal with it in an honest, healthy way. Like my friend said, it will keep bubbling to the surface until we deal with it.

Identifying Unclaimed Emotional Baggage: Being Brave Enough to Deal with Our Stuff http://bit.ly/2Nwkmzb #choices #honesty
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'You just have to get rid of so much baggage to be light enough to dance, to sing, to play. You don't have time to carry grudges; you don't have time to cling to the need to be right.' #quote by @ANNELAMOTT http://bit.ly/2Nwkmzb
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