Tales from the Land of Serenity Part 16

These are tales that came into being following the brutal assassination of the investigative journalist Daphne Caruana Galizia in Malta, 16th October 2017.

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Having previously delved into the cultural quagmire of musical fiddlesticks in the very latest installment of these almost unbelievable tales, things have just got a whole lot more exciting. The white-clad citizens are veritably shaking their robes in anticipation and brushing off the thick layers of dust which have accumulated on their blue suede shoes due to the somewhat manic levels of construction work occurring all around them.

But there’ll be no feet of clay at THIS party! This is an occasion to outdo all and it’s being hosted by Serenity’s very own and oh-so-devoted Philharmonic Orchestra in dedication to – and yes, our lips are quivering, nay, trembling at the thought! – in honour of – and in tribute to – and see how the white-clad citizens lie prostrate in reverential prayer that they, yes, they, the humble and docile dogsbodies of this loyal and law-abiding land – they pray that they may get their money-grubbing paws on a ticket which is worth much more than its weight in mere transitory gold – a paper ticket that can be shredded like so many other useless documents that should have been retained by the Police Commissioner and his comrades but who cares now in this ecstatic bonanza of delight? – Who cares about the past when we can live in an eternal whitewashed present? – Who cares about yesterday’s papers when we can write our history anew? – Who cares about insinuations that all is not as it should be in this joyful land of serenity when we, the citizens, can lay down at the altar of – of – of – in all this excitement, I forgot to mention – how could anyone be so remiss? – I forgot to say because the words are tumbling out fast and furiously across the page and spewing forth in a gush-guddle of half-digested Gozitan cheese – but Ladies and Gentlemen – Oh peaceful protectors of this pedestrian plateau of providence – this concert – practiced and performed by the obedient servants of this state of serendipity – is in honour of no less, and no other than, the only man we would gladly lay down our lives for. The only man who we place above all others in this sacred space where all of us live in accordance with our ability and in solemn accordance with our needs, while acknowledging, of course, that some people’s needs are much greater than others and that we shouldn’t really question this because sometimes it allows for making money on the side, which isn’t a form of corruption but more a quaint little nuance of the serenest way of life.

Serenity is soon to be epitomised in all its glory and every musician worth his (or her) salt will be fine-tuning their instruments of worship and running up and down their scales to do justice to this magnificent event. Every musician, that is, apart from those who were threatened with the minor inconvenience of having their job removed if they insisted on breaching the peace in front of the leader’s palace by playing tunes which would have reminded people, when no-one wants to be reminded, that a journalist was assassinated in the Land of Serenity, blown up in a car bomb in the far-off countryside. Given the musicians’ compliance in this matter, it’s hoped that some of them may be rewarded with complimentary tickets for the forthcoming and much lauded event.

Already bets and under-the-table deals are being placed on which tunes will top the leader’s playlist, on which ditties and dirges will reveal his hidden tastes. For our leader is a man of untold mysteries and no leaks will spoil the necessary secrecy leading up to what will surely be a gala evening demonstrating our erudite leader’s profound level of musical knowledge, just as he has such profound and erudite knowledge in every other sphere. For our leader is flawless and, taken together, his deftly chosen repertoire can only culminate in perfect harmony! This is a man who knows the difference between a fiddle and a flugelhorn!

A high level of security will inevitably be in place in the days leading up to this much-awaited concert; a high level of security mirroring that which occurred when a well-known female journalist was murdered by a car bomb and two well-meaning officers of the law limped listlessly on to the scene, struggling beneath the weight of one single but unwieldy fire extinguisher.

A high level of security will ensure that this becomes a triumphant musical extravaganza, a fantasia on the theme of glorious fantasy, with fanfares to stir up every national passion, as the rise and swell of an uplifting crescendo drowns out the discord and dissonance of some plaintive elegy.