“I remember everything because I’ve obsessively thought about...

“I remember everything because I’ve obsessively thought about it.  She was my roommate’s girlfriend.  We were alone in the house. There were vibes between us. We’d been flirting.  We sat on the edge of the bed for half an hour before anything happened. Smiling.  Giggling.  I kissed her, then we stopped.  She kissed me, then we stopped. Then she put the condom on me.  Afterward we cuddled. We joked. We discussed whether we should tell my roommate. And I thought that was it.  Then a few weeks later, a mutual friend showed me a text message where someone referred to me as a rapist.  When I confronted the girl about it, she claimed the sex hadn’t been consensual, and her willingness had just been a defense mechanism.  That’s when the bottom fell out of my life.  It felt like my reputation was ruined.  It seemed like everyone knew.  I got on antidepressants.  I went to therapy.  I felt hated, not lovable, not welcome in polite society.  Nothing I did seemed to matter anymore.  Certain pathways in my life seemed completely closed off. I could never be famous. Never a public figure. Never a CEO. The rumor would certainly come out. I had these constant, obsessive thoughts about what I’d do if it ever went public. Would I sue her?  Release every communication we’d ever had? Get statements from all my ex-girlfriends? Would I post a long note on Facebook where I admitted to every sin I’ve ever committed?  Maybe that would convince people that I’d never lie about this.  Would any of these things even matter?  Or would it just matter what she said?”