I’m Gonna Need a Bigger Axe

I have the notes in place for Act One now, but I’m moving on to Two (and Three) so I know what I have to have in Act One to set them up and what I can cut with impunity. Act Four needs a rewrite but probably not any cuts, so later for that. Act Two is 45,000 words. My goal is 30,000 words. So how do I cut 60 pages? I have a plan.

First, I listed all the scenes in that act. There were a lot of scenes, fifty-two to be exact.

Then I divided them into groups of related scenes (scene sequences), including separating out all the Chloe/Max scenes (I’ll put them back later).

Then I looked at the scene sequences and said, “How do each of these arc the romance plot?”

The problem with pairing a romance plot and an external mystery/action plot is that the two fight for dominance, so I have to pick a lane. And the lane here is clearly the Nita/Nick romance. Which means any time I spent developing the Cthulhu plot as anything but an impediment to the romance can go. So here are the scene sequences (some of you have read early drafts of 1 and 2 and 4):

Aftermath of the smite; scene with Sadie at Demonista (5650; mistake plus cuts, now 2717)Aftermath of the smile; Nita’s family, trip to Hell, apartment (8688)Investigating Rich’s cabin (3585)Breakfast; Lily and marriage proposal (3727)First Team Meeting; Button finds out (7724)Clubbing (5216)Nita finds out (spoiler) (3976)Second Team Meeting, Poison. (874)

Plus the Chloe/Max scenes (6237) and the scene with the Mayor (803) which will get folded into one of the sequences when I figure out where it goes, possibly in the team meeting section. 45,000 words. ARGH.

So the next step was to make those part of the romance plot arc.

Aftermath of the smite; scene with Sadie at Demonista: Nick and Nita power struggle, establishment of negotiation, Sadie sees relationship, new Nick.Aftermath of the smile; Nita’s family, trip to Hell, apartment: Nick saves her, she trusts him, Mort and Keres accept him.Investigating Rich’s cabin: Nita saves him, he trusts her; first kiss.Breakfast; Lily and marriage proposal: Easy relationship, easy living together, proposal as a business proposition.First Team Meeting; Button finds out: Team observes them, they remove themselves to fight (agree no fighting in front of the kids), team freaks out a littleClubbing: Working together, still negotiating, obviously a partnership.Nita (spoiler): Another shift in the relationship, they navigate it by talking about it, strong relationship. (Originally this scene was Max vs Nita, which moved the Cthulhu plot; now it’s Nick vs. Nita which moves the romance plot. Duh.)Second Team Meeting, Poison: Team is a family, Nick and Nita accepted as leaders, relationship accepted (Point of No Return, can’t go back) and then poison disaster.

Using that second list as a guideline, I can get rid of a lot of plot stuff, I think. And then most of the Chloe/Max stuff gets put back in, but some of it has to go. It’s about 20% of the cut size of the act which is a good size for a subplot, but I can pare it down. I’m actually happy about this, I think it’s going to. be a much more coherent story. At least this part of it.

And then I have to do Argh Authors and my taxes. Nothing but good times far, far ahead.

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