There Came a Time

There came a time when I needed a mother, when that’s what I wanted most and yet I couldn’t have.

There came a time when I needed comfort and care, so I started by admitting that I felt abandoned. There came a time when I needed support, so I started by confessing that I felt so very alone. There came a time when I needed to be shaken awake, so I began by asking why I always ran away.

There came a time when I needed nurturing, so I learned to take my inner child by the hand and sing my self-doubt to sleep. There came a time when I needed refining, so I allowed myself to break and then carefully cradled the bruised parts of my soul.

There came a time when I needed a mother, so that’s what I became.

There came a time when I needed true compassion, when I found myself looking out at a world that seemed too cold.

There came a time when I felt misunderstood, so I started by admitting that I’d blocked others out. There came a time when I was harshly judged, so I began by confessing that I was a critic myself.

There came a time when I needed someone to see me for who I really was, so I started by trying to see the world that way. There came a time when I needed forgiveness, so I started by forgiving myself. There came a time when I needed love, so I started accepting my imperfections and fell in love with my darkest parts.

There came a time when I needed true compassion, so that’s what I became.

There came a time when I needed a teacher that I could trust, when I felt misled by those whom I had entrusted the lead.

There came a time when I needed insight, so I started by taking a good look at myself. There came a time when I needed direction, so I began by admitting I wasn’t sure where to start.

There came a time when I needed a higher perspective, so I started by looking up from the pages of my books. There came a time when I didn’t know who to trust, so I began by learning to follow the song of my soul.

There came a time when I needed a teacher, so that’s what I became.

There came a time when I needed healing, when I needed love, when I needed truth, when I needed life, when I needed clarity, when I needed light, so that’s what I became.

There came a time when I needed myself so, at long last, that’s what I became.

© 2019 Cristen Rodgers

Image by Baylee Jo Teeter