New Outside Column!

Good morning!  I am deep in the throes of a family vacation but my latest column just popped up on the Outside site so here you go:

After re-reading that maybe I should just stay where I am and not come back.
Hey, I've been updating the Bike Forecast every day and nobody seems to have noticed I'm not in New York City.  If I were to leave permanently, I wonder how long I could pretend to live there before getting found out.  As long as I refrained from using Strava, I'm guessing I could get away with the ruse for at least a few years--assuming I could keep the happiness from creeping into my prose, of course.  And hey, my life is already a series of ruses and lies, so what's one more?
I may have to seriously consider this....