Could A Pelvic Floor Physiotherapist Help You?
This month I want to cover more about how the female body actually works when it comes to sex, and frequently I get questions from women whose bodies are distinctly NOT working.
Here, for example, are a few that I’ve received recently from women suffering from vaginismus and other pain:
Reader Question
I have struggled with painful sex for most of my marriage (it was better once I started sleeping more once kids were older and we had more sex, but then got more difficult again with early onset of menopause). We haven’t had intercourse for 3 years now because I finally said it burns and the gels etc don’t work. And although it was often painful, I miss it. Are we doomed to the rest of our marriage with no intercourse and just pleasuring each other in other ways?
Here’s another:
Reader Question
When I first got married, sex was amazing. Fun, able to have orgasm, all of the above. Within a few months I began having pain and even during the times that it’s not painful, it’s only “meh”. I have stopped the pill (likely a contributor to health problems I was having). I have cut out all “irritating” food and drink after Dr diagnosed vestibulitis. Still not much improvement. And there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason. It’s not a lack of lubrication (although that is an issue at times, we use a lubricant) What can I do!?
The simple truth is this:
Sex, while it is more than just physical, is DEFINITELY physical. And like any other parts of our bodies, our pelvic and genital regions can cause problems that make sex difficult.
The problem is that when we have problems sexually, we usually assume the problem is with us–something about our emotions or our relationship. We rarely seek out help, or at least we wait a long time to do it (I’m glad the second woman did see a doctor!). And so we often suffer in silence.
I shared my own story of vaginismus in The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. I said:
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex:
When I walked down the aisle, I was carrying a huge amount of baggage related to trust. I had been left by my dad as a baby, abandoned by my step-father as a teen, and rejected just two months before my wedding by my fiancé. The latter man eventually changed his mind and came crawling back, and I welcomed him with open arms. Unfortunately, the rest of my body didn’t cooperate. As much as I loved my husband and wanted to make love, I was scared to get too vulnerable, and my body wouldn’t relax. And when you can’t relax, sex hurts.
…[A]fter confiding to a close family member about my problems, I was marched off to a gray-haired gynecologist, who explained to me that I just needed to get in touch with my vagina. He would conduct a full examination, with my husband present, inviting me to touch everything and name everything so I wouldn’t be scared of anything anymore. Apparently magically saying the word “vagina” is supposed to eradicate deep-seated trust issues. … I hyperventilated and beat a hasty retreat, never to darken the door of that particular doctor again.
I saw a doctor–a doctor who was supposed to be an expert in this. But even he didn’t realize what I really needed.
Thankfully, treatments have come so much further today, and the most trained medical practitioners for this are not actually physicians but instead physiotherapists with a specialty in pelvic floor issues.
Two years ago I gave my Girl Talk presentation about marriage & sex in a church in southern Ontario, and Sheela Zelmer, a pelvic floor physiotherapist, was in attendance.
I told her about my passion for getting women help in this area, and last week she sent me some information I’ll be sharing with you tomorrow about what to expect from an appointment with a pelvic floor physiotherapist. To start us off, though, I asked her to share with me some stories of people that she has helped, to show you that there often is treatment for some of these conditions.
Here’s Sheela: (It’s so hard to type that name with that spelling! 
