Which Breakfast Club Type Were You In High School? Also, What Would The 17 Year Old You Think About The 2019 You?

I haven’t watched The Breakfast Club in many years, and can’t remember a lot of details about it. But I do know I liked it. And that’s the way it goes, at this point. I often remember few particulars about old movies or TV shows, but still recall my initial feelings about them. And often those “feelings” are from 1985 or whatever, and are therefore questionable at best. Are you familiar with this concept? Your original emotional reaction is all that remains? Please tell me I’m not the only one?

Anyway, the mythology surrounding the film states that all the high school “types” are represented. I’m not so sure about that, but let’s go with it. I guess they’re roughly (from left to right):

The wild stoner

The jock

The eccentric weirdo

The perfect person

The smart-ass nerd

It feels like there are a few missing, right? How about The generic? Might seem a tad harsh, but you know what I mean. There were some generics around. What other ones are missing?

And, inevitably… I’d like to know which Breakfast Club “type” you believe you were. I was, without a doubt, the smart-ass nerd. Except I didn’t have a cool haircut and khaki pants like Anthony Michael Hall. I mean, check it out… Not sure why that picture is so grainy. It looks like it was scanned on the world’s first scanner. In any case, I certainly fit into the smart-ass nerd category. I mean, if it weren’t for the biting sarcastic remark, I would’ve had to shop for a new type, and I can’t have that. I might’ve been able to embrace The eccentric weirdo, but can’t see myself in any of the other categories. The generic, I guess. But what high schooler wants to be there?

Also, I have a secondary question for y’all. Imagine if the 17-year-old you could view a video summary of your 2019 life. What would 17 think about it?

In my case, there would be plenty of negatives. The Jiffy Pop haired gentleman above would have a hard time understanding how I got to be so goddamn portly, for instance, and would not be open to explanations. And he’d be confused about the fact that I live in Northeastern Pennsylvania. Hell, the 2019 me is confused about that one! And the way I make a living would probably be a disappointment. When I was 17 I had romantic notions on top of romantic notions. My current position would not fit into any of that.

However, 17 would be somewhat impressed that I was able to put together some semblance of a normal adult life. (He’d have no way of knowing that Toney is the brains behind the operation.) I can remember that he was confused about how any of that was possible. I’d look at my parents, and be baffled by it all. There seemed to be so many moving parts: a marriage, real jobs, a house, kids, cars, bills that needed to be paid… How does any of that happen?? I couldn’t see myself ever getting there.

And he’d probably be pleased that I’m reasonably happy, and have a wife and two healthy kids. And that I still have the capacity for the biting sarcastic remark, but have gotten better at picking my spots, if you know what I mean. And he’d love that I’m still on the prowl for great obscure music and that I’m kinda-sorta writing and doing a podcast. He’d be a little disappointed that it’s just a hobby, but he’d be glad that I hadn’t abandoned all that stuff completely.

I imagine 17 me would give 2019 me a B-. And that’s fair, I guess. Maybe a little generous… but I’m trying to be positive.

What do you have on this? Would 17 you be happy with 2019 you? And what about the Breakfast Club thing? Did you fit into any of the five categories the late, great John Hughes identified in the film? Please tell us about it in the comments. And by the way, it appears The Breakfast Club is streaming at Netflix. I might have to watch it again soon.

And I need to call it a day here, my friends.

Yesterday I posted a new podcast episode for patrons. I feel like I’m on some kind of roll with this thing. The new installments are not very focused, but I’ve been pretty happy with them. And that’s a rare emotion. Here’s your link. And here’s your summary:

In this one I tell you about living in a laminated world, the joys of being a regular somewhere, the pain of getting my tax info together, our close relationship with the IRS, my failed attempt to work for a high-powered carrot company, and my thoughts on a very real product described as “butthole chocolates.” I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for the support!

I’ll see you guys again on Monday.

Have yourselves a fine, fine weekend!

Now playing in the bunker

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