“Solitude is necessary to balance things out. But isolation is...

“Solitude is necessary to balance things out.  But isolation is different. It doesn’t feel like a choice.  I don’t want people to see me. There’s this shame for not having much of a life.  Everyone else has full lives and families and jobs.  So I keep to myself.  It’s like there’s a big hole inside of me.  And a lot of air.  Some days it can be hard to move.  Recently I became really malnourished. One morning I woke up with an intense headache, and ended up having a seizure on the floor of my apartment.  I spent the next three months at a hospital in Brooklyn.  They let me take my wheelchair anywhere.  I could explore new floors and meet new people.  If anyone needed water, or books from the library— I’d get it for them.  My social worker told me that everyone liked having me there.  It was the strongest sense of community I’ve ever had.  I’ve been depressed since I got home.  I want to go back.”