I quit Facebook. And by that I mean I’m still on Facebook because you can’t really quit Facebook.

I quit Facebook recently.

Which is to say I am still on Facebook because you can’t really quit Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg has side-loaded it directly into our brains without our permission where it happily mines our personal traumas for ad revenue while soothing pop-ups jump in front of our childhood memories and assure us the Facebook values our privacy.

Do you know how many times I have Googled variations on “How to leave Facebook without really leaving Facebook?”

Do you know how many peo...