“Right now I just feel confused. It’s fear, really. I’m...

“Right now I just feel confused.  It’s fear, really.  I’m scared.  I’m graduating in a year.  I still don’t know what I want to do.  I’ve always wanted to be a leader in something.  But I don’t know what that is exactly, and I feel like if I’m not doing it already, then I’ll probably never be a leader in it.  So it’s a lot of stress.  The one thing that’s giving me solace is the thought of being a mom.  I’ve wanted to be a mother since the age of four.  I used to put blankets under my shirt to pretend like I was pregnant.  I love taking care of people.  And if I can’t conceive, I’ll adopt.  I’ve got everything figured out.  I didn’t think about it much in high school or middle school.  But now that the future is in such close proximity, motherhood has become my security blanket.  I think about it whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed.  Since everything seems to matter so much right now, it’s my way of saying: ‘nothing really matters.’  Because at least I’ll have a family.”