Confessions of a control freak
By Brian Peart
I have had heartbreak in my life, early death of a father, a failed business after the
recession of 2008, issues with my kids. But nothing could compare to the pain I
felt when I lost my wife. She was the great love of my life, a fairy tale story if
there ever was one. And now it was gone. She was off at the lake forming another
life and I was at home crying to Ed Sheeran. She said I was a “control freak” and
that I was verbally abusive. To be clear, I never hit her…there was no physical
violence, but you can tear down a person with words and apparently, that is what I
was doing. At first, I said she was crazy but at one of my lowest points it dawned
on me…maybe there was something to what she said.
As I began to look into what makes a control freak it became increasingly clear, the
heart of the control freak is fear. For me, this fear was based on insecurity. She
was beautiful and amazing and deep down, I did not think I deserved someone like
her. That led to a fear of losing her which led to my subtle and not so subtle
attempts to control the situation. The heart of a control freak is fear-fear of losing
control causes you to try harder to keep control…and in the end, the thing you fear
often happens anyway. So now I knew the cause of why I acted that way, but what
was the cure? I went to the ultimate source of wisdom, the Bible, to find out how
to stop this pattern and came across this verse, “Perfect love casts out fear”. Ah
Ha! That’s it. Perfect love casts out fear…I knew then I had to dive into the Bible
and get to the heart of love to conquer this fear once and for all. That journey led
to the writing of my book, “Perfect Love”. I feel the Lord led me through some
carefully orchestrated steps to walk me from my bitterest defeat-the loss of my
wife-to my greatest victory. Within 4 months my book was written and within 6
months it was published. Writing that book healed me, but more importantly God
showed me a simple strategy to help ANYONE who has experienced heartbreak
and defeat to rise above and get back to the victorious life Jesus promised when He
said, “I come to give you life to the full. “ And if that was the end of the story, it
would be a great victory. But God was not done.
Unbeknownst to me, my ex wife found a copy of the book and read it. At first she
was put off but the Lord guided her to read it a second time and it changed her life.
Divorce is never one sided, there are always two people in every marriage. She
had habits and issues herself and amazingly, the book spoke to her as well. She
reached out to me, we started dating again and now are re-married! Reconciled!
Praise the Lord what an Amazing Grace! God’s Grace is the key my friends, His
love is overflowing. When you are in doubt, when you are down, when you are
struggling, you need only to look to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, and
you will find peace. His Grace is sufficient for you!
[image error]Brian Peart is a man sold out to God. He lives in Monroe, Georgia and owns a mortgage company. Brian is happily married and father to seven children with a granddaughter on the way. Brian has laid out a battle plan in his book that takes you from the feeling of an epic fail, to the greatest point in your life. He calls this a “God Help Book” and if you let the Lord lead you, with the simple steps in this book, you will be amazed at the results.
Brian Peart is author of a book entitled “Perfect Love”. In it he powerfully
reminds us of who we are, and steps out a simple plan to gain and keep a
victorious life all year long.
