Emails of the Day - Thanksgiving Edition

First comes this email from someone calling himself "The Unnecessarian":

To improve the coherence of the following text, it would be best if you read it aloud in a British accent.
 
 '"Why nice to meet you Mr. Bosch. I suppose I'll call you pseudopod to adopt a more familiar tone.
You are informed as to the meaning of the word, I presume?
Let us get right to the point then, shall we?
 
I am contacting you via rather...unorthodox methods. In my day, it was consideredRead More...