The Dark Side.

'Anger, fear, aggression... the dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.' Yoda, Return of the Jedi.

WARNING: RANT AHEAD!!!
Today I had one of those days. It seemed like the whole world was determined to make me mad. Twitter spammers, scamming and marketing phone calls when I'm waiting for my gas engineer to get back to me with the quote for repairs (urgh), all three kids conspiring to make the morning routine a slow trip through hell - they were all out to get me. And they did. By lunchtime I was a seething mass of fury and frustration, with a headache brewing, a snap in my voice, and venting it all on Twitter and Facebook. I had taken the dark path!

I have a temper, I know. I get worked over things which, at the end of the day, aren't really that important. But I hate stupidity. I hate selfishness. I hate people harassing me for money I don't have, or for not getting the tedious things out of the way so they can go and get on with the fun stuff. I hate my precious time being wasted for no good reason. I know I'm not perfect, but I try my hardest not to offend, obstruct or upset people even if they don't (or can't) return the favour. I like to be helpful and supportive, and generally a good sport. I take pleasure in other people's happiness, and commiserate with their pain. It infuriates me that some people seem incapable of even the most basic empathy with their fellows, or the slightest smidge of consideration or conscience. And so I got myself in a rage. To what end? Only my own suffering.

The sad truth is there are always going to be things that ... well ... p*ss me off. Sometimes the fault will be my own. For all the good things in this reality, there are equally bad. I'm not really a believer in karma or cosmic balance, or anything like that. I don't believe in Heaven or Hell. Bad people will get away with their crimes, and the good will go unrewarded. I certainly don't believe that the meek will inherit the earth! But I won't tolerate some of it. If some people see me as bad-tempered and rude, then I'm sorry. You're probably the 15th person this week trying to sell me solar panels or telling me that your energy company is the cheapest in the world despite the hundreds of others claiming the same thing. Maybe you're the one trying to tell me I'm an idiot for choosing to go the traditional route for publishing. Maybe you're the one who thinks it's okay to tell me that someone I care about is ugly in your eyes.

And maybe I'm just a grumpy old woman who should go back to bed or eat some chocolate. :-P