Watching Clocks for Vanity or Status?

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What, no watch? How d'youtell the time, then?I haven't worn a wristwatch since I took voluntary redundancy from the Civil Service in April 1994.And, whilst many people ask me how I manage, I wonder why they continue to relyon a personal timepiece.Every room in the house,except the smallest, has at least one clock ticking away the seconds. Thesitting room mantel carries a carriage clock. The kitchen has a fruity roundaffair clinging to the wall, and digital displays on cooker, microwave andcentral heating controls. The bedroom has a self-correcting electric clockradio courtesy of my late step-mother; it wakes me with enough noise to rousethe citizens of Edinburgh. My daughter sleeps through her battery operatedalarm, so I've installed an insistent radio alarm to ensure she escapes her bedbefore lunch. And my study contains a small ticking souvenir from a forgottenholiday, as well as the digital display at the bottom right of the computerscreen. Every High Street I tread, with heavy, reluctant footfall, measures thepassing of the hours with clocks in abundance, in the windows of the manyjewellers or on the faces and towers of ugly municipal buildings. At the office(I had to return to employment to earn a living, unfortunately) there areclocks on all four walls, each recording a different time. One of these hasforgotten it's summer and continues to dwell in the winter of GMT. Every busterminus, train station, and airport lounge sports clocks a plenty. My car, aninexpensive and not quite antique model, holds a clock amongst the variousdials, switches and gauges that aid the driver. And, should I find myself strandedin the middle of nowhere, cruelly deprived of public timepieces; what's in mypocket? Right; a mobile phone with, guess what? A time display.In all the hours, days,weeks, months and years since I abandoned my personal reminder of time passing,I've never missed a bus, train or appointment. And I travel by public transportmore frequently than I'd prefer: it's cheap and helps save the planet,apparently. So I ask; if I can live amodern life without one, why do so many people wear watches? Why are they sokeen on constantly monitoring the ebbing of their lives? I find only twocredible answers to this conundrum, and I suspect they're closely linked. Oneis simple vanity, of course; a love of something special attached to the personto adorn and beautify, like any item of jewellery. The other is status, wherethe brand, style or material of the device declares its owner either rich orspecial. Thus; the designer watch, which tells the world how stylish andcomfortably off is its wearer, or the timepiece with so many features itrequires a heavy duty strap and over-developed biceps to be carried and remainin place, and reveals its user as a man of action, who thinks nothing of diving30 metres into water, regardless of the need. And, we mustn't neglect thehideously expensive watch, which describes its wearer not simply asinordinately wealthy but as boastful and lacking in basic common sense.Now I've upset, angered,irritated and alienated almost everybody, I'll take a minute to consider mystance on this. Nope; still feel the sameway.Damn! Just missed the lastpost.