We Don't Want to Change

A general rule in creating stories is that characters don't want to change. They must be forced to change. Nobody wakes up and starts chasing a bad guy or dismantling a bomb unless someone forces them to do so. The bad guys just robbed your house and are running off with your last roll of toilet paper, or the bomb is strapped to your favorite cat. It's that sort of thing that gets a character moving.

The rule exists in story because it's a true thing about people. Humans are designed to seek comfort and order, and so if they have comfort and order, they tend to plant themselves, even if their comfort isn't all that comfortable. And even if they secretly want for something better.

I heard an interview on the radio with a woman who worked with people in domestic abuse situations. She said most woman who come to her for help go back to the situation they came out of, back to the man who abused them. When the interviewer asked why, the woman said that even though most women had family they could escape to and friends who would take them in, they returned to the abusive man because the situation, as bad as it might be, was familiar. People fear change, she said. Though their situations may be terrible, at least they have a sense of control; at least they know what to expect. Change presents a world of variables that are largely out of their control. And then the woman said this: "The women in these situations are afraid to choose a better story, because though their current situation might be bad, at least it's a bad story they are familiar with. So they stay."

This passage was an excerpt from A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.

We Don't Want to Change is a post from: Donald Miller's Blog