Let's Talk About…Insta-Love!
INSTA-LOVE. It's a term that I never heard before last year, when I started seeing it pop up in reviews of YA novels. Girl meets boy and lightening strikes. The critics are right—it's all over the place in YA literature. For example:
TWILIGHT – Bella and Edward's eyes meet in that school cafeteria and YA history is made.
STAR WARS – one look at Leia's image projected by R2D2′s faulty disk drive, and Luke's ready to take on the Dark Side of the Force to rescue her.
ROMEO AND JULIET – a fleeting glimpse of each other at a costume party, and they're practically sprinting to Friar Lawrence's cell to tie the knot.
Oh wait, sorry. We're talking about YA novels. Not classic films. Or Shakespeare. But we might as well be, because from WESTSIDE STORY's Tony and Maria to Arthurian literature's Lancelot and Guinevere, Insta-Love is a theme that has permeated storytelling for centuries. (Or millennia, even, if I can get Biblical and mention David and Bathsheba.)
So now that we've established that Insta-Love is neither a purely Young Adult phenomena, nor even that new of a concept, let's take the discussion past TWILIGHT and into real life. Does love-at-first-sight actually exist outside of the minds of writers, filmmakers and musicians?
And what is the difference between Insta-Love and Insta-Interest? I, personally, have never had anyone grow on me, although it has happened to friends of mine so I know it exists. I see. I like. I conquer. (Or fail to conquer, after making a total idiot of myself. Or chickening out after first making a total idiot of myself.)
Some authors give good reasons for there to be an Insta-Attraction. Bella's a "shield." Sookie's part-fairy. But does there even need to be a reason?
Because to those who say, "Love-at-first-sight just isn't believable," I have to say…
Really? I mean…REALLY?
You've never had that moment where you walk into a room and you see him/her, or even get as far as exchanging a few words, and suddenly it's crashing down on you like a car wash—buffeting you from all sides? Never?
I'm not saying that love-at-first-sight is the healthiest basis for a long-term relationship. The French call it a coup de foudre—a lightning strike. Which is a good metaphor: it electrifies you, but it sure does leave your hair a mess. (As well as the rest of your life.) That isn't to say that it isn't realistic. And might actually, on the rare occasion, work out. But is it to be trusted? That's a whole other question.
The fact that it is such a powerful and sometimes devastating force is exactly why writers and poets and musicians and artists choose it as a topic. And why we, as readers, listeners and spectators just eat it up. It's crazy. It's dangerous. It's thrilling. It's tragic. Just turn on WESTSIDE STORY and hand me a box of tissues. I, for one, am not afraid to say that Insta-Love exists and when it comes to well-written love-at-first-sight, I am a complete sucker.
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I completely agree! I have never had it but I believe it's out there. I love reading about it. It's my favorite because I've never experienced it so it lets me live in that moment with the character.
Insta-love for me outside of the fictional world, is a really scary thing. I had what I thought was Insta-love a long time ago. He walked into my place of employment and you would have thought fireworks went off! I'm talking, tall handsomely rugged Cowboy with the bluest eyes they could instantly pierce your soul! When they met my eyes and his face lit up with a smile, that was it. The shocker at the time was learning he was my best friends brother and I had no clue. Sure I knew she had a brother but he was never around because he was always off riding rodeo. He decided to stay shortly after we met and I thought this was my happily ever after. However, once a commitment was made he nearly destroyed mine and my family's lives. A year and a half later he was incarcerated with a ten year sentence for Domestic Violence. My fairytale turned into a nightmare. I think I realized then that it wasn't Insta-love but Insta-attraction, because there is no way I could truly love someone who was capable of the things he did to me. Being in-love in my eyes means having to know someone intimately. Knowing what their heart, mind, and soul are made up of, flaws included, and then not only loving them, but trusting them with your heart. We can love just about anyone. As a Christian I'm charged to love my enemies. But to be in-love in my book, requires enough initial interest to want to know that person on a more intimate level. It was a hard lesson learned. Sorry if I was a party pooper to the discussion! :/
Holy cow, Holli - you had the worst possible Insta-Love experience. I think that the point that you made distinguishing between Insta-Love and Insta-Attraction is really important. It might be possible to fall for someone from the minute we see them, but it's impossible to read their heart until we know them better.
So true! It also kind of kept me at a distance with my now husband, Michael. I feel like I was one of those apprehensive heroins who can't see what they have in front of them because they are too busy waiting for the other shoe to drop. It took him two years, but the most selfless God send of a man, got me down the aisle and I ended up with my happily ever after. There are defiantly good men out there! Had it not been for such a bad previous experience, Michael would have been the perfect man to have an insta-love with. He is so good to my children and I. We are truly blessed! :)
