On The Outside Looking In

Here in Canada's barnacle-ridden hull, many of our problems seem to stem from the fact that we're afraid of the wrong things.  Our obsession with guns, walls, and gigantic cars are all by-products of our abiding paranoia.  Meanwhile, we're deathly afraid of doing something as benign as riding a bike:


Cycling's pretty safe to begin with, and by approaching it with common sense we can make it even safer, but instead we poke it with a stick from a distance and never get beyond "WEAR A HELMET OR YOU'RE GONNA DIE."

Speaking of getting comfortable with things, you've probably seen Jeff Jacoby's recent column by now:

Boston Globe dipshit Jeff Jacoby with an early entry for Dumbest Bike Op-Ed of 2019. This one's gonna be hard to top!https://t.co/yN4sGofn9u— Bike Snob NYC (@bikesnobnyc) January 8, 2019

I'd never heard of Jacoby before his last anti-bike rant, and it wasn't until now that I dipped into his archives, which revealed that if you're uncomfortable with bikes you're probably uncomfortable with a whole bunch of other stuff too:

Evidently Jacoby is deathly afraid his own "unruly sexuality," and he clearly feels that if not bound by heterosexual wedlock he'd veer off into some lurid pan-sexual fuckfest:
And yes, now you cannot unsee the ghastly image of Jeff Jacoby engaging in a lurid pan-sexual fuckfest:


Now that's something to be afraid of.