The Alternative Acknowledgements (humour)

(The below is written firmly with my tongue in my cheek. Well maybe …)!

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I would like to thank the following for their assistance in completing this book:

My editor, for taking my meagre gains from my literary eforts. (any remaining errors are, needless to say entirely his responsibility, and nothing to do with me squire!).

My partner, Miss Slapdash for her terrible cooking which, being wholly inedible drove me back to my study thereby encouraging me to write.

My publican, Mr Dodgy Geezer fo...