No Laughing Matter
Listen to these short sound clips of two different babies expressing themselves.
Baby by One
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Baby by Two
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Can you tell which one has been cleansed of original sin? Clearly, Baby One is very distressed while Baby Two is truly glad to be alive and exuberantly happy. Could that be a clue?
But wait. Baby Two's laughter doesn't sound so innocent when you listen closely. Baby One has certainly picked up on it and is distressed because Baby Two doesn't appear to realise, or care about, the consequences of remaining with original sin.
Yeah, right. What a load of codswallup. You can't tell by listening to babies whether they are still tainted with original sin! Only a fool would say that. You can't tell by any observation or interaction. They all seem, by their looks and behaviour, the epitome of innocence. There's no way to tell, from babies, if original sin even exists.
But don't let that fool you. I know a man, who knows a man, who knows a woman, who knows a man who says he has it on good authority that another man committed suicide to redeem us all from our sins. And nobody would commit suicide to redeem people from something that doesn't exist, so it must be true. And besides, the suicide wasn't just an ordinary man, he was a god, so it must be doubly true. What's more, being only one third of a god but at the same time a whole god (a bit like a borg mind?), it must be multifariously true.
Suicide? Well, yes. The Catholic Encyclopedia says, "suicide is the act of one who causes his own death, either by positively destroying his own life, as by inflicting on himself a mortal wound or injury, or by omitting to do what is necessary to escape death...". [My emphasis]
But isn't suicide a sin? Well, again yes. But fortunately for our suicide, there is a 'get out' clause. Apparently suicide is not a sin if done with divine consent, and, obviously, being a third of a god and the whole god at the same time, consent was not an issue.
What I have yet to figure out is why we are still told we are born with the stain of original sin if our sins were all forgiven as a result of the suicide. It all gets rather confusing, what with the buy-one-get-two-free nature of this god, the hand-me-down sins, and the suicide which only lasted a day or two. I get the feeling it's meant to be confusing.
(Grown Up) Baby by Three
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Here's an apposite quote from an anonymous Year 10 student in the UK: "Religion? — it's just organised panic in the face of death!"
And finally, in the interests of honesty and openness, I suppose I should point out that I have no idea if any of the babies, whose voices are reproduced here, have been subjected to any religious rituals.
Credits:
The unedited baby crying soundclip, recorded by Mike Koenig, is available at SoundBible.com.
The unedited baby laughing soundclip is available from either Audio4Fun.com, where it is credited as being submitted by SharpShuter, or from Make4Fun, where it is credited as being created by Jud Steven.
The unedited maniacal laugh soundclip is available from Freesound.org where it is credited to acekasbo.
