“I’ve always wanted to be a dad early in life. I want to be...

“I’ve always wanted to be a dad early in life.  I want to be energetic and active and mobile.  I’d like my parents to experience being grandparents.  My dad was thirty-three when I was born, so that’s always been a bit of a benchmark.  And unfortunately it just passed by.  But it’s not something I have any control over. In every other area of life, I can make progress by putting in work.  I can practice.  I can gain new skills.  But the harder I pursue having a family, the further away it seems.  It’s difficult to enter a relationship with children in mind.  It complicates things.  You ask heavy questions a little earlier than you should.  So I just do my best to put it out of my mind.  I’m in town for an engagement party right now, and last night I crashed with an old college friend.  This morning I helped feed his baby son.  I was pretty good at it.  He’s a picky eater, so I had to pretend to take bites myself.  I had to make funny faces.  I had to ‘boop’ him on the nose with the spoon.  But I got him to eat his breakfast.  And I guess it was the novelty of feeding someone, but the whole experience just rekindled the notion of: ‘I want this for myself.’”