First Draft Feelings

Writers, we need to get over it.

Image by Steve Johnson

“What was I thinking?”

“Why would I write that?”

“This makes no sense.”

“It’s official, I suck at writing.”

First draft feelings. All of us writers go through it. My first draft of my first novella was 200 pages single spaced on Microsoft Word. Six years and seven or eight drafts later, Thoughts of a Fractured Soul was finally completed.

Yeah. It goes like that sometimes. Actually, it goes like that all the time. Maybe not six years long, but first drafts are supposed to be messy. They’re supposed to be frustrating and beautiful and aggravating all at once.

Instinct Over Intellect

I know with writing my first drafts, all I’m really doing is getting my thoughts out. I’m writing more by instinct than by any kind of well thought out narrative. And that’s fine.

I’m not too worried about if my character’s action on page 80 makes sense with what I wrote on page 13. I don’t care if I deleted the first 10,000 words because only God knows where the heck I was going with all that and it took me that long to find the real story.

Sorry, Not Sorry — Forgive Yourself and Move On

Before starting my first draft, I apologize to myself. I say, “self, you’re gonna spend a lot of time working on this. At least four hours a day, 6 days a week for at least a couple months. I just want to apologize to you now, self, because I probably won’t use half of what we write.”

I actually don’t talk to myself, but I do prepare myself mentally. I forgive myself in advance for the words I’m about to write. I know they won’t be the best, but I also know without that first draft, there is no story. Without me being brave enough to put those words on the page, I’d never be able to eventually make them magical.

Editing IS Writing

I’m one of those writers who edits while they write. It’s an annoying habit, but one I don’t care to break. Even while I’m editing my work throughout, I know the real edits start after that first draft is completed. Writing isn’t something you get in one take. Did you get that?

Writing isn’t something you get in one take.

It takes reading and rereading what you’ve written. It takes you stepping away for some period of time to gain perspective on what you’ve written. Then it takes getting an opinion from someone else on what you’ve written. All of this is part of the writing process. Make peace with that right now and save yourself the pity party when you’re six months in and don’t have a completed manuscript.

And while I’m mostly alluding to the book writing process, this goes for any kind of writing. Short stories, articles, essays, ads, web copy, all of these will require a degree of editing if you hope to create the best work possible.

You’re in Good Company

Donna Tart is infamous for taking years to finish her manuscripts. It took her 11 years to finish her Pulitzer winning novel, The Goldfinch. She says she scrapped the first EIGHT MONTHS of writing to arrive at what is now considered a must-read in contemporary literature. More recently, author Susan Orlean confessed her most recent novel, The Library Book, took six years to complete. How do you think her first draft went?

If those two examples don’t make you feel good, then maybe you should rethink this writing thing.

C R Y

First Draft Feelings was originally published in C.R.Y on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.