When You are Refined by the Unexpected
Taking a deep breath, I mustered up a joyful greeting and answered the phone – knowing the news couldn’t be good. After all, it was 10 o’clock on a Wednesday night. Doctors don’t call at that hour with good news.
In a nine-and-a-half-minute phone call, my world changed. As I hung up the phone, I looked at the notes I had been taking…
Cancer
Really? Me? Cancer? How could it be?
The “unexpected” had just hit.
I wonder if Mary felt similar disbelief when the angel visited her to announce her “unexpected” pregnancy with baby Jesus.
“What? Me? A Baby? How? Can you repeat that?! I didn’t quite understand what you said…”
Although we paint a picture of Mary as an innocent teenage girl, I think Mary was a strong young lady. She had to be. She experienced the “unexpected” – far beyond what her imagination could fathom with the initial news of her miracle pregnancy…
“A baby? Ohhhhh. Ohhhhkay… The King of the World? I can get behind that! Talk about being catapulted to ‘celebrity’ status!”
In reality, she became anything but a celebrity. Her “unexpected” began as a teenage girl who was doing everything right. It soon progressed to Mary giving birth in a stinky barn, only to end at every mother’s worst nightmare – watching her son die murdered… unjustly.
If you’re anything like me, you have a rough sketch in your mind of how your life will progress. (Mary probably did too) Marriage, babies, graduations, marriages, grandbabies and family surrounding you as you peacefully pass into the arms of Jesus.
Although I don’t know your situation, it’s likely that there are, have been, or soon will be a degree of “unexpected” events in your world because life rarely unfolds as we imagine. There are hiccups, wrong turns, and then “Unexpected” hits us. Illnesses, deaths, infertility, betrayal, divorces, accidents, addictions, lawsuits, injustices, etc.
While Mary’s “unexpected” brought uncertainty and deep sorrow, as it often does, it also had to bring an indescribable sweet joy. I imagine she clung to the attributes that she saw in God to raise his Son just as the prophet Isaiah declared:
For unto us a child is born,
To us a son is given…
And He will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Isaiah 9:6
I know I did.
What I discovered deep in the dark of the night was that there was no one who knew what I was going through. As much as friends and family reached out, (oh! they were wonderful!) the only one who fully “knew” was God. And I leaned hard. Trusting that He would be my Counselor – and direct my decisions. I sought his Peace when fear threatened to grip me. And I trusted that God would indeed be an Everlasting Father to my loved ones if I didn’t make it. Thankfully, my health is restored; yet, that experience continues to refine my faith and my outreach to others who are going through their “unexpected.”
Friend, only God knows the depth of what you are experiencing personally. I encourage you to lean hard on Him; cling to Him when you don’t understand. He is a faithful, powerful, caring Lord. A Prince who offers Peace when we lay it all at his feet. A Mighty God; Emmanuel – God with us.
Isn’t it wonderful to think that we have the most loving God that knows us, accepts us, loves us and always wants to be with us?! Take a moment to soak that in. Look for His fingerprints. They are all around! He wants to be seen! He wants to be known by you. Yes…YOU!
After the initial shock of her “unexpected” pregnancy, the bible says that “Mary…hurried” and went to stay with Elizabeth for three months. She leaned on a friend that would draw her closer to the Lord – who had wisdom to calm her fears.
In your tough times, follow Mary’s example and lean on friends that will point you to the Lord. Ones that will encourage you and empathize with you. Be discerning though – you need strength for the battle. Quite often, in our time of need, the most unlikely people are the ones that minister to us most effectively.
And when you’re through your tough season…
You’ll see that God uniquely positions you to help others walk through their “Unexpected.”
Because you are refined in a way to understand more tenderly how to reach out, to listen, and to point others to the One who truly Knows. And that is the silver lining of every “unexpected” that threatens to turn our world upside down!
Is there any greater gift you can give this Christmas season? To share your refining with another as she walks through her journey?
This Christmas, embrace your role as an encourager to care for others experiencing an unexpected season.
This Christmas, embrace your role as an encourager to care for others experiencing an unexpected season.
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Char Geletka loves inspiring others to reach for their full potential – using the gifts and talents that God has planted in them. She looks for these opportunities through her writing, tutoring and friendships. She lives in South Florida where Christmas is bound to be sunny and hot!
Visit her blog at TrekkingThru.com for a dose of encouragement in her open letters to Young Moms, Sons and Daughters.
Connect with Char on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest.
The Refined Series
Fire refines. First God, breaks our pride into tiny pieces. Then, He melts away our impurities in a crucible of affliction. Every fleck of fleshy fluff rises to the surface and is removed until we reveal His image.
This year, I want to stop fearing the fire and pray:
Lord, refine me through the flame.
For 2018, I asked God to give me a word to guide my year, and He whispered the word “Refine.” For 10 months, Bruce and I have been walking through the fire and trying to not resist the refining work He is doing in us.
I am a very slow learner, and recently it occurred to me I should step aside and create more space to listen and learn during this season. I long to sit down for a heart-to-heart chat with a wise friend who will remind me the fire has a grander purpose. Thankfully, I am blessed to know several women who’ve walked through the fire and emerged beautifully refined, and I’ve invited them to share their story here with the Wildfire Faith Community once a month.
God has promised that the fire will not consume us, but transform us.
Sign up today as a member of the Wildfire Faith Community and grab a copy of the Refined Manifesto our Faith Fuel Library.
If you are visiting from Char’s today,
welcome to my little space on the web!
Here you will find fuel for a wildfire faith to help you
LOVE DEEP: Fervently extend God’s kindness and grace to pesky people.
PRAY BIG: Go down fighting on your knees with fire in your bones.
HOPE FULL: Stay tethered to a confident anticipation that keeps your heart ablaze.
STAND STRONG: Rest courageously on God’s promises with red-hot resolve.
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