Afterword for "Pressure"
As promised, today I'm posting the afterword from Long Eyes for my story "Pressure." The freaky artwork is by the talented Billy Tackett and reproduced here (and in the book!) with permission.
Always one of my most successful stories, "Pressure" has been translated into four languages and appeared twice as podcasts on EscapePod and Starshipsofa. Now here's the truth behind it!
.
"Pressure" is one instance where the afterword might be as much fun to write as the story itself. That's because the basic concept for this story came from a nightmare. I remember opening my eyes, scribbling happily on my notepad and thinking, Holy cow, I am a sick puppy.
First of all, I'm a light sleeper and sometime insomniac. Maybe worse, in the middle of the night I often think I'm awake when I'm really asleep. Then I wake up. There's a weird transition from worrying about things that only make sense in the dream state to realizing I wasn't consciously brooding about my projects, chores, and bills, I was analyzing problems and situations that aren't mine and don't actually exist.
What I brought out of this nightmare was the impression of being lost and horribly disfigured. I remembered fighting through my confusion, but I couldn't quite recall the reason for the machines that had been inserted into my face.
At the time, I had a minor head cold, so my sinuses felt raw and weird. Because I'm a light sleeper, I wear ear plugs. Because I was working a clerical job while writing my first novel in my spare hours, my wrists were shot, so I wore braces, too. Because I grind my teeth, I also pop a night guard between my teeth.
My subconscious is a war zone, man!
The head cold combined with various levels of body armor tricked my brain into imagining I was an altered man in a dark place. Changed how? Why? That sense of fear and chaos became the opening paragraphs of the story, and over the next few days I developed it more.
Here's a final secret. You probably noticed some similarity in the climatic decisions of the heroes of "Long Eyes" and "Pressure." They both choose to seek out their individual destinies instead of helping or rejoining their own kind. Partly that's because I'm not much of a joiner myself. All writers are loners to one degree or another. That's a necessary part of sitting with your thoughts hour after hour, day after day.
But in the original version of "Pressure," Carlos Garcia opted out to the Aro Corp. program long before his contract was up, forfeiting all payment in exchange for the necessary surgeries to restore him. The big reveal at the end was Andrea opening the door of their home to find him pledging to dedicate himself to their marriage and their family even if they were poor, in debt, out of work, and unfulfilled.
The story wouldn't sell. I felt like this was the only commercial ending, but editors kept rejecting it.
One of my pre-readers finally convinced me that the problem was the sheer falsehood of forcing the plot in the direction he called the "Disneyland ending." It wasn't true to the character. So I tried rewriting the story the way my friend suggested, and Jed Hartman at Strange Horizons bought the piece. Since then, it's been translated into four languages and has played twice on the popular podcasts Escape Pod and Starshipsofa, so that was a lesson learned.
Let the characters be themselves.
