The Paranoid Outlook

My work Outlook has been a little paranoid lately. It's suddenly begun blocking my co-workers, insisting they have malicious intent when they're really just trying to tell me which posts are most popular. I sat it down, tried to reason with it.

"There's nothing wrong with Denise Tanton," I said. "She's a really, really nice person."

My Outlook shook its head and stalked away, muttering something about a Denise it knew in high school.

Then, yesterday morning, I emailed something from my gmail...