If THAT Happens

We were hosting a baby shower for one of my husband’s colleagues at our apartment outside Boston, our own baby just a few months old. The party was really an excuse to have people from the office over to get to know each other better.

Everything had gone well until the very end when the last baby gift was opened. I was keeping a list of the baby presents for the parents-to-be, so they could write thank you notes later, when I noticed nothing written next to one of the guest’s name.

“Robert,” I said. “I must have missed you. What was your gift again?”

Robert looked away and replied quietly, “Nothing. I’ll bring something to work on Monday.”

The room fell silent. A fun party now ended on a very uncomfortable note, partly due to Robert’s blunt response, but mostly because I didn’t think before I opened my mouth.

Every human on earth, since the beginning of time, has experienced them: AWWWkward Situations

Those embarrassing moments which seem to happen more often this time of year with all the requisite holiday commitments. Awkward situations like…

~ Blanking out and forgetting a friend’s name when you introduce them. 

~ Waving back to someone until you realize they’re waving at someone else.

~ Talking to yourself, only to notice someone has been watching you.

~ Having too good of a time and consequently tripping or breaking or spilling on others.

~ Sending an email or text to the wrong person… I mean the really wrong person.  

~ Hugging a person when they decide to kiss your cheek, but they miss and kiss your nose or eye, because you’re only hugging… or vice versa.

Either you laugh it off or you cringe yourself into a dark hole. Most of us do a little of both: laugh and cringe, cringe and laugh.

Awkward situations are unavoidable, but the way we handle them says a lot about our well-being.

Experts recommend “apologize where appropriate, maintaining your sense of humor and moving on fairly quickly.

‘Don’t take yourself so seriously that you derail the conversation, not with your flub, but actually with your response to your own mistake,’ says Jessica Hagy, author of How to Be Interesting (In 10 Simple Steps).

It may also be helpful to remember that your faux pas likely looms larger in your mind than in anyone else’s.

‘There’s something called the spotlight effect — people think that they’re in the spotlight — but everyone thinks they’re in the spotlight,’ says Rodolfo Mendoza-Denton, an associate professor of psychology at the University of California at Berkeley.

‘So in the eyes of other people, one’s actions aren’t being analyzed as carefully as one thinks.'” **

In other words, no one cares nearly as much as you do when these things happen. And the good news is, as you get older and survive countless humiliating mini moments, you tend to laugh a lot more and cringe a lot less.

 

**Social Rx: How to Recover from 5 Classic Faux Pas

Photo Credits: Google Images

 

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