Expecting Some Good Luck

God loved the birds and invented trees.  Man loved the birds and invented cages.  ~Jacques Deval, Afin de vivre bel et bien, French playwright


I’ve heard that it’s GOOD luck when a bird poops on you.


Or your car.


Maybe, but I sure didn’t think so a few nights ago.


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My car’s rear window



I’d gone to our symphonic band’s dress rehearsal, the final one before our end-of-the-year concert, and parked in what I thought was a great spot.


Close to the door because it was cold outside, in a lighted area because it was night, and near the campus police department for safety reasons.


Don’t laugh. Who’s dumb enough to park a mile away from where they need to be and take a chance on somebody jumping you??


Anyway. After practice, I came outside and heard a terrible raucus.


Screaming. Hollering.


It sounded like banshees. Or dozens of college kids celebrating the end of the semester a little early.


Looking around, I could see that wasn’t the case.


Nobody was there, but the screeching continued.


Then I glanced up at the immense pines beneath which my car was tucked.


And realized what was making the commotion.


Crows.


Dozens of them.


And with birds comes poop.


Lots of it.


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My car’s front hood


All over my car — roof, windows, sides, trunk, doors.


Even the wheels.


Trust me, it was a sight for sore eyes.


Such a nasty mess, in fact, that I didn’t even want to touch the door handle to let myself in.


And I was mortified driving home in the poop-mobile (despite the darkness outside).


The next day, I slunk over to the automatic car wash and ran it through.


But soap and water didn’t clean all the filth, and I ended up pressure-washing it myself.


Now, I’m all set for the good luck.


Bring it on!

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Published on December 12, 2018 03:30
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