The Prof is in the Putting (On of Tweed)
While I am not a sociologist, psychologist or anthropologist, I think I’ve just about nailed down a working theory on how one can determine who will go into academia.
I am a well read person with a privileged profession, so naturally I fancy myself somewhat erudite. I think to myself as I pass students heading to campus, or chime in on a conversation about some piece recently published in the Washington Post or The Wall Street Journal that maybe I would be a good teacher, someone who could offer a unique perspective that would resound with a few eager bright students and badger the others into something like an education.
But then I remember that I am not a patient soul and that I blush whenever I have more than three sets of eyes on me. At that point I think perhaps it’s just the chill in the air that makes me nostalgic for my days as a student, and envious of professors who can sport tweed with impunity.
The trifecta: Bow tie, sweater vest and tweed jacket!
Here is my work in progress test to determine if you have the moxie to become a professor:
Do you know working theories of various professions other than the one you studied in school?
Does your hobby involve research and analysis of that research?
Do you feel like you’ve forgotten something if you do not have a book in hand?
Do you enjoy works by Herman Melville and come to their defense if you hear them attacked?
Is Harvard Business Publishing one of your go-to websites for information?
If you’ve answered yes to four or more of the above questions, congratulations, you will likely go on to bullet things on Power Points, achieve a certain level of penmanship not often seen these days, and shepherd a boredom of students through their studies.
I will remain here, mocking Melville, shaking my head at youths and lounging all weekend in pajamas during exam season.
To those currently in or preparing for exams on either side of the classroom, take courage! The term is almost done, and it’s doubtful the world will run out of pastries or alcohol before then. I’ll try to save you some.
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What! You work at a university that doesn't follow the Gregorian calendar year ends?! That sounds awful! When did this term start, then?
This year, our winter term started on October 15.Both our terms shift around a little every year, though, because our summer term always starts after Easter. This is mostly because there's a two week school break before the actual holiday, so in this way people with children get to take advantage of that. (This is only true for my region of Germany, however. Things are handled differently in other federal states. Yeah, I'm not sure who thought de-centralizing the education system was a good idea, either....)
Wowza! Centering off of Easter does change the landscape a bit. I went to a school that had no summer break, but we still ended term one so that the winter holidays were not spent studying!
Right?I would assume a lot of our students would prefer it if they were done with the term by the time the Christmas break starts. And I can't say I blame them.
Pretty spot on, Allison!We'd have to adjust the questions a bit for engineering, though. And there are a couple of freakish schools out there, misfits of higher education, where the rules are almost inverted. They actually pay attention to whether the faculty knows their $#*!, for instance. And then the military academies are an exception, too, where the academia is a lucky afterthought to creating competent grown-ups.
I, personally, can only answer "yes" to the hobby question. This may explain why I was only temporary faculty at an Academy…
Haha! I am definitely not weighing in on how successful an academic anyone is for doing (or not doing!) these things, or hiring practices! I have noticed a difference in the theoretical sort and the mechanical sort of academia, too, so I should probably clarify which this is. But it is a working theory after all, so it's open to modification ;-)
Let me tell you, the owl on the right is definitely what being on the teaching staff feels like at this time of year (and the semester at my university will only be over in early February.....oh God....).