Advent Reflections, 2018
Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler
” It is the beautiful task of Advent to awaken in all of us memories of goodness and thus open doors of hope.” Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, Seek That Which Is Above, 1986
For as long as I can remember, I’ve watched the priest light the candles on the wreath before Mass during the four weeks before Christmas. In my Roman Catholic tradition, as in other Christian denominations, this commemorates the season of Advent when we anticipate the joyful arrival of our Savior on Christmas Eve. Throughout the years,intertwined with all the other frills and distractions of gift giving and holiday parties, the true meaning of the season has been been crowded out, forgotten, displaced by all the hoopla surrounding the commercial aspect.
It seems it has taken a concerted effort on my part to keep the main reason for the season as I see it,Christ’s birth, in the forefront. I am not meaning to assume everyone should think and believe as I do,only to express an opinion and share an experience. Maybe I’ve become complacent in my own beliefs as I know there have been times when I have allowed myself to get caught up in the frenzy myself; when I haven’t tapped into the gifts of the season available to me through my faith. Oh, I’ve put the creche out to highlight the Nativity scene and I’ve rebelled against the focus on commercialism. I’ve made sure to buy religious stamps for my Christmas cards and encouraged the tradition of singing Happy Birthday to Baby Jesus on Christmas Eve with my grandchildren. But what have I really done to honor the gifts of the season? They’ve always been there for me but maybe I’ve been too busy to stop and look beyond the lit candles on the altar to see ..
it occurred to me that my faith is a gift that has been handed to me. It has seen me through many trials and challenges. It was faith that strengthened us all as we held vigil around my father’s death bed in 2011,holding hands and praying. It was our faith that helped us let go. It was our faith that helped us do the sam with Mom in 2018. It is our faith that sustains us now as we grieve the losses, pay tribute to his loving memory and move on in gratitude for the father and mother we were blessed ot have.
Advent is the season of hope, the season of solace from grief.
2018 has not been a good year for me as those of you who have followed my posts have heard.
My health declined, my mother and cousin died within two weeks of each other and I was rejected for a second time for a kidney transplant plant, leaving me with the reality that lifelong dialysis would be my only option.
But Advent in my Christian tradition is a season of waiting and hoping. I began in a place of confusion and doubt and have made my way into the light of hope through my faith. In this time of anticipation, I trust that my faith will strengthen me and guide me through the tough spots.
This is the first holiday without Mom and we, my siblings and I, are feeling the loss deeply. She was the center of our lives. The only way to the other side is through so I move forward on my journey of hope, trusting I will make it to the other side of the heartache and emptiness left by her absence.
It’s 4:00 pm and I want to call Mom at the Assisted Living facility she called home like I did every day for the past two years. She’d tell me about her day—the exercise class she participated in, the menu, the manicure she had, the bus ride she took and invariably there would be a funny anecdote about one of the residents, which usually had me laughing until I cried.
Mom reaches out to a visitor. I love her total concentration and compassion that comes through.
I feel her presence so I write her a letter in my journal and tell her about my day—update her on my grandsons’ activities, Wayne’s activities and my schedule. It makes me feel close to her.
I know I will make it but I also know I will miss her forever…
But life goes on…and I am celebrating my ninth blogaversary this year, and getting ready to publish my second memoir.
Time flies when you’re having fun. And it has been fun—it is a highlight in my life to meet so many wonderful people and stay connected to many. The conversation “around my kitchen table “ every week has been rich and nourishing.
Thank you for accompanying me on my journey and for enriching my life. I look forward to 2019, always hopeful for better days.
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How about you? What is your source of hope during the tough times? Does Advent hold any special meaning for you? Do you have any seasonal traditions that give you hope?
I’d love to hear from you. Please join in the conversation below~
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ANNOUNCEMENT: Congratulations to Louise Carlini. Your name was selected in a random drawing of commenters to win a copy of Margie’s memoir, Smart Ass!
This Week:
Thursday, 12/13/18:
“Fearless Writing by Karen Brown Tyson: A WOW Blog Tour
Karen os the author of Time to Refresh: A 21-Day Devotional to Renew Your Mind After Being Laid Off, Fired or Sidelined.
Next Week:
Monday, 12/17/18:
“Christmas Blessings, 2018”
