Things I Keep Forgetting Recently
1. People are petty, and small, and vengeful. People have this remarkable capacity in them for meanness and unkindness and I generally believe this stems from deep insecurity within themselves--though it's always tough to remember, it is probably more about their problems than the problems they have with you. I think you can only ever look to your own life for happiness, and no comparison will ever end well; still, this is something I have been forgetting lately, so I try to play LET IT GO by GREAT BIG SEA to remind me:
So yes, while the world seems to continual remind me that sucky people exist, I need to remember not to be sucky in return. Instead, I need to remember to let it go.
2. I keep forgetting to buy bananas. Dammit.
3. Life is not about money; it is one of the imposters that Kipling talks about; and though these things may run parallel, doing what you love, pursuing your passions and working to fulfillment have absolutely nothing to do with money. I don't love publishing books; I love writing books, and that act is one outside of the world of money. Publishing and being paid is AWESOME and I love the idea of getting to share my book with the world, but it still (and possibly always will) feel like something that's totally based on luck and has very little to do with me. Similarly, working with GLOW is something I love madly but won't ever pay any bills. Sometimes this irks me; sometimes I try to remedy the situation and get paid for what I love. Lately I've just been feeling that I need to do things because I love them, and money will work itself out. Let's just hope my Corolla doesn't commit suicide in the meantime.
4. How to talk to myself. I think for the most part I'm a very internal person; as a writer, certainly, I have a rich and unending internal dialogue, but sometimes I get tangled in it like rigging on a boat and instead of eager to turn inward, I'm desperate to seek something outside of myself. This is necessary, I think; balance is everything. But often in these periods of casting out for external connection, the center doesn't hold and I end up with Libba Bray's I Suck Playlist in my head. I'm terrible to myself! How does talking like that--being the bully within your own head--make anything better? No. I need Jack Johnson and a little me time. And I need to remember to just be kinder to myself--and probably everyone else around me.
5. I've had RedBox DVDs out for about seven days now.
6. Frustration isn't a bad thing, whether its with your job, your situation, or yourself--it means that you're in the middle of the journey, which, from the eyes of either the end or the beginning, is a wonderful place to be. It may seem like I'm running out of ropes to try, but it actually means that I'm getting closer to the one rope that, when I pull it, rather than fall to the ground, will let me swing up to the next level.
I'm basing this assumption on Mario Bros, of course.
7. 27 is actually kind of awesome. For those of you who don't know, my birthday was November 7th, and I've been kind of freaking out about being so close to 30 and not feeling like any of my ducks are in any sort of row, octagon or any shape whatsoever. But this has to do with Number Six, and Number One, and probably Number 4 as well. Actually it's an amalgamation of all the numbers. But you know what, 26 rocked. I:
Signed my first book contract (technically it sold when I was 25)
Got PAID for my first book (take that Number 3)
Helped raise more than $13k for GLOW
Handed out $5000 in scholarships
Successfully organized the first IGNITE Change Essay Contest and accompanying awards banquet
Was honored as an Emerging Leader in my community with a pretty sweet award
Shook hands with Deval Patrick as a volunteer for the Boston Book Festival
Began the grueling process of trial and error to learn how on earth to launch a book
You know what, 27? Bring it on. And you know why 26 is afraid of 27--because 27 28 29!
Nope, that doesn't work with the twos in front of it. Or written down, for that matter.
xx
