Sound Off
Maybe I have early-onset curmudgeon syndrome, but I am increasingly bewildered by how many people think it’s okay to play things out loud: phones, videos, *snippets* of videos with the volume ON and the headphones OFF. Why? WHY? Why should I have to hear this stuff? You’d think that being a long-time New York resident would have inoculated me to noise, but all this device noise is a real BEE IN MY BONNET.
On the subway the other day, two anti-social tweens with a bluetooth speaker held the train hostage with their shitty hip-hop. And one of them had headphones idling on his neck, so I know he knows better.
Am I too old for this shit? Is this because of Instagram Stories? I used to hate listening to one side of someone’s cell phone conversation in a public place, but now I almost long for those days. One day I found myself near Lincoln Center and had a little time to kill, so I decided to kill it in an atrium/coffee place nearby. Because it’s Lincoln Center, a jazz group was doing a soundcheck/ warm-up in the atrium. It was GREAT. We’re in New York City, in Lincoln Center, in PUBLIC, in a coffeeshop/atrium and there is a woman connecting to the wifi to watch her TV stories on her computer without headphones. I asked her to turn it down and she shot me big-time daggers, but I deflected them ninja-style because I was right! It’s crazy.
Where are THE PARENTS? I declare that no child of mine (okay, my one child) shall play their phone out loud! Santa will not gift her with a Bluetooth speaker unless it comes with a contract of appropriate usage. It’s not okay for me to hear music out loud, it’s not okay for me to hear ZHOOP-KAPLOW or whatever dumb noise your kid’s game makes. I shouldn’t have to hear ELMO. My kid is 12 now; I live Elmo-free now. I paid my dues.
But sadly, I know where the parents are. They are nearby, merrily enjoying their burger at Shake Shack while I listen to their infant’s Bulgarian Elmo video. We are in a RESTAURANT. Okay, it is only a few steps above a McDonald’s and I am standing because there are not enough tables. Fine. It ain’t fancy. But trust me that your kid doesn’t need to hear Elmor or whatever he’s called in Bulgaria. Whatever happened to bringing crayons??
Harumph!
