The Fiver | Sticking six past Watford while strolling about and yawning

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There’s a fresh look about some of the big leagues around Europe right now. In Spain, Alavés and Sevilla sit above European champions Real Madrid, the pair right on a worried Barcelona’s shoulder. Bayern Munich’s traditional regal procession in the Bundesliga has been cancelled this year; they’re miles off the pace set by Dortmund, have fewer points than a multinational soft beverage concern, and are even trailing Mönchengladbach for goodness sake, like it’s 1977 all over again. It looks like things may even get vaguely interesting in Scotland, for a while anyway, with Pope’s O’Rangers topping the table at this stage of the season for the first time since the taxman had a quick rifle through their desk drawers and performed an exaggerated double take accompanied by effects from the Hanna-Barbera sound library.

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