Fearless Female Friday: Courage that Said Its Prayers

By Ellen Notbohm

As a child, little bored me more than sitting through religious services. But perhaps it was worth for the one sermon that has remained indelible in my memory, the one that wove a steadfast thread through the writing of my novel, The River by StarlightThe River by Starlight.



The rabbi described three kinds of courage. The first he called courage that doesn’t know any better, a courage born of naivety and inexperience that comes from being unaware of the risks and consequences of our actions. The second kind he called courage that has hit rock bottom, the courage we summon when the only other choice is surrender and defeat. The third kind of courage he called “courage that has said its prayers,” what we call forth when we confront our fear, know the risks, and choose to take action anyway.

This distinction between courage and fearlessness formed the core of my based-on-true-story protagonist Analiese Rushton in The River by Starlight. It was 1905 and she was not yet out of her teens when she gave birth and fell into a long and terrifying episode of mental illness. There was no treatment, no compassion, no second chances, no rights as a woman or mother. She lost everything: husband, child, home, health, stability, community.

Some years later, a faraway brother offered her a new home, a clean slate. And what happens when the clean slate brings a second chance at love, home, and family does arise—and history repeats itself?

Subjected to the judgment of law enforcement, the courts, and the medical profession—all male—Annie rightly feared what they could and did do to her, ultimately isolating her in the manner of the times, in which there were no real treatments, often no recognition that hers was a bona fide medical condition, not a character defect or moral failing, and no gender equality under the law.

Abandoned by family and community, penniless, in confinement, Annie hit rock bottom. She was one with her fears when she summoned that second kind of courage and rose to it. That’s the real story here, how one small woman, so seemingly fragile and powerless, drilled into a bottomless well of resilience and hope, and refused to give in to those who would deny her right to self-determination. Rising yet higher to that third brand of courage, she constructed a new, bittersweet but acceptable definition of family and what it means to live in peace and safety.
Shortly after publication of The River by Starlight, a woman on the other side of the world wrote to tell me that Annie’s story was her story, saying “Nothing, not medication, therapy, specialists and doctors has been as healing as your amazing book and brave Annie.”

Readers have called Annie’s tale an “achingly beautiful” love story. I didn’t set out to write a love story, but when we think about everything that was at stake for her—family, home, health, freedom—those are the things we love most fiercely. So how could it not be a love story? Not fearless love, but brave love. Courageous love that has said its prayers.


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Learn more about The River by Starlight here: https://ellennotbohm.com/the-river-by...

Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/River-Starligh...

“Magical storytelling . . . intimate and poetic language reminiscent of Paulette Jiles and Marisa de los Santos.” ~Booklist

“Graceful and unflinching.” ~Kirkus Reviews
“A captivating tribute to the healing power of love . . . exquisite.” ~Foreword Reviews

“As rich in theme and detail as the Montana sky is in stars . . . impressive.” ~Brian Juenemann, Pacific Northwest Booksellers Association

“Really well done. Don’t miss this.” ~Powell’s City of Books Staff Pick