“There was a permanent dark cloud in the house. It was abuse in...

“There was a permanent dark cloud in the house.  It was abuse in every way.  Mental.  Physical.  Sexual.  It was permanent fear.  Whenever my father was home, I just locked myself in my room and tried to be as quiet as possible.  My mother and I finally escaped when I was six, but the abuse stayed with me.  I didn’t make any friends at school.  I couldn’t trust anyone.  It was an open wound.  But when I was fourteen, my mom told me that we could do something about it.  She asked me if I’d be willing to testify.  And I agreed.  The trial happened two years later at my father’s military base.  I hadn’t seen him in ten years.  The lawyers told me I didn’t have to be in the courtroom when I testified, but I felt like I needed to face him.  Just to show that I wasn’t afraid anymore.  He was already seated when I walked in the room.  I put my hand on the Bible and looked right at him.  For a moment, I felt a stroke of fear wash over me.  Like I was a kid again.  But I set it aside and gave my testimony.  It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  He was sentenced to ten years in prison.  I’ve moved on with my life.  I don’t think about him.  I’ve grown to look like him, but I’m not him.  Even if someone tells me I’m him, I’m not him.  I’m me.  I’ve lived my entire life to not be him.”