Deep End

Writing a story where you are the only audience is comforting. There's no pressure, no expectation, as right now you just want to complete your novel. You want to write the last words, hit the save button and take a breath knowing you've accomplished something not very many people do.
Fast forward now to when it's time to release this book for all eyes to see. To open the door and expose your imagination and lens of the world for everyone to view and judge based on what they think is good writing and not. That comfort feeling quickly dissipates and now the question of whether you could finish a novel has now been replaced with "Is it any good?" Along with a myriad of similar questions that all come from the growing insecurities you now feel as a writer.
I'm not only dealing with these insecurities as most writers I'm sure are but something else, perhaps something even more jarring, is getting my attention amongst the feelings of dread, like an annoying splinter. Like promoting and Advertising your book for one. I joined Twitter purely for that reason, to connect with other writers and especially readers in the hope they saw something worthwhile in my book to take a chance. But something about this whole notion of promoting your work feels false, as if you're a salesman trying to offload a product to a customer, who likely doesn't need it. 
After being exposed to Twitter and other writers who are independent authors - at least in terms of ebooks, a lot have publishers for their print version - I was washed away with the wave of promotional tweets and special offers that relentlessly populated my feed. I asked myself, "is this what I have to do, to get people to read my book?" I sighed at the prospect of spending a lot of my time writing tweets and other activities people do to promote their work. It's extremely naive but, I never considered how tough it would be to market your book, get it some attention and maybe just maybe have someone make a purchase. To put their faith and hard earned cash into your ability to entertain them with a story. 
I briefly spoke to another Twitter member about how to attract readers. They said, "you can't just do promo tweets, you have to engage them in conversation, and you will receive a lot more interest that way." I thought this person was right, but still it feels false. Taking interest in people purely for ones own intentions.
Perhaps this is all about perspective. This can instead be about someone who has worked hard to write a novel and wants to reach readers who will appreciate it and gain something from their written words, whether a moment of escape or something deeper like inspiration. Maybe the practice of engaging with people is not only for personal gain, you can also instil an attitude that you can contribute to them - promote their work, share with them lessons you have learned.
I'm not sure if all of this makes sense in what I have written here. I guess sometimes insecurities and other feelings from that same family are hard to decipher. It feels like I'm alone in this thinking or more likely it's my cynical side telling me I am and everyone else is enjoying the benefits of spreading the word and looking at their sales stats with a nod of approval.


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