On Getting Better (and does it matter?)

I’ve been writing and brooding lately.

In so many romance novels, there is a human being who is flawed (hey, that happens). Generally over the course of the book that person’s flaws either come to light or are pushed into the spotlight and the flaw is addressed/corrected.

In fiction we are (for the most part) willing to forgive a person’s flaw that was in the past if we’ve seen steps to improve themselves/correct the problem. But in real life we aren’t nearly as forgiving. Now, if the flawed individual has personally done something to hurt you, I think that’s acceptable – you do not need to let those people into your lives. And I am in NO WAY trying to pass this off as “boys will be boys”. First off, usually in “boys will be boys” the individual has had NO ramifications for their actions. Nor have they done anything to make amends.

(The act itself has to be taken into consideration, but I’m working off the thinking of things that are bad but not horrid. Especially things born of ignorance or just social unawareness.)

But if the person(s)’s flaws/misdeeds/etc were pointed out, and they attempted to change and make amends, should we (as a group) forgive them? Or rather, not forgive them (as we cannot forgive what they did) but not hold it against them forever? Example: they did something bad in 1998, it was pointed out, they made changes to things related to that which was pointed out. So if in 2020 someone reveals/accuses them of something they did in 1998 that was similar, should that be held against them? Again, I’m not saying the act itself should be forgiven, but do you then throw it in their face as “You are a horrible person!!!!!”? They obviously saw they were not in a good place at that time and made an effort to change. Should those changes not be respected?

If every sin we’ve ever done is never to truly be forgiven, then I guess there’s no point in redeeming our characters either. *sigh*