The Newbie Blues

As I enter my tenth year as a published author, I’ve thought a lot about the things I’ve learned and the growing pains of being a newbie. And yes, I was president of the club.We all feed from the same trough in the beginning, until we learn to eat from the table of knowledge.The first draft we thought was epic is, ten years in, trash. I shudder when I recently read back those unpublished writings from the early days. I couldn’t write for beans, but I had ideas, stories, and the will to sit down and pound them out, no matter how many technical errors. I also had the will to learn.Prior to writing for publication, I gorged on 1980s and ’90s romance novels. In attempting to emulate the craft of those authors, I embraced head-hopping with all the fervor of a new romance. Yep, it used to be in style. How enlightening when I met an editor who showed me a better way.Passive voice, filters, adverbs where there is no need, weak verbs, and the ever present quickly, suddenly, immediately, whiplashy wordy sentences, like this one. The “I started to run,” instead of “I ran,” the endless descriptions of dresses and rooms. Yes, all new writers make the same mistakes. It’s in the DNA of a writer.Clunky dialogue with the characters names and ridiculous dialogue tags. “That’s right, Joseph. I am fine today, what about you?” Frank inquired. Rinse and repeat with boomed, whispered, demanded, ordered, etc. Despite a recent campaign to the contrary, said is not dead. It suffices. If his voice boomed, find a way to describe that.Everyone had a POV, including the dog, though I’m pretty sure I never had a dog in any story. The maids, butler, and every town’s person, because we can’t tell a story with less than a dozen or more POVs.Part of the Newbie Blues is the idea that we have invented a new way of writing that is so unique, that if we can only get it out there, it will catch on and become all the rage. A little research shows that isn’t so and that what might appear new and unique, is unrefined at best.Now, bad writing has been around forever. If you have a DNF (did not finish) folder on your Kindle, you know what I’m talking about. Why use ten words to say the same thing in fifty? My bike was stolen by the neighbor’s son who hid it in his garage and painted it black because he was going through a Goth phase, or so said his mother when my mother confronted her about the stolen bike.Or – The neighbor’s boy stole my bike.Passive voice eats brains, of both the reader and the writer. It’s a proven, scientific fact. Take my word for it.The sin isn’t in committing the crimes against the English language. No, it is in doing it repeatedly without a thought to correcting what editor after editor tells us. Sometimes we hold onto our phrasing because we’ve fallen in love with our words. That is the worst thing an author can do.A word about editing and its importance. Self-publishing has made “getting your story out there” super easy, but many self-published authors tend to cut corners, for financial reasons, and eliminate professional editing. This is a mistake. You want your book to be its best, but you don’t have the ability to see the mistakes. If you start out your writing career in self-publishing, you have entered the writing/author bubble, where all you hear is your own voice, which always says you are right. While you write, save for an editor. Your author reputation depends upon it. Bad reviews have brought death to many a writers’ career.And then, those dreaded edits. The reckoning, if a publisher accepts the book and it gets as far as edits. This will happen if the pub sees something in the story.There are stages of editing acceptance, but as there is in the grieving process, for editing is a grieving process, if we’ve invested ourselves in every word, or if we can’t accept criticism, a necessary evil if we want to become an author.How many of these steps do you recognize?1. I had this story in my head and only I know how to tell it.2. They can edit all they want, but I’m going to reject all. No one is going to tell me how to write.3. No way. They aren’t going to screw around with my baby.4. The editor is trying to edit out my author voice and then the story will be hers.5. I concede on commas. Accept all.6. WHAT!!!!!?????? No exaggerated punctuation??? How in the world am I going to tell the reader that my hero is screaming!!!??? Or that the heroine is screaming and asking a question at the same time????!!!!7. Why are there a hundred and fifty comment bubbles with passive voice written in them?8. Dangling modifier. Wow. Dear editor, you must have written that, because I wouldn’t have. Here, let me look. Oh, wow. Forgive the ring. Well, okay, that is a valid point, but the other eight hundred, no way.9. TAKE OUT A WHOLE SCENE????!!!!!! No way! I’ll never do it. That means I’d have to rearrange things and, wait, that scene is pivotal to the story. What do you mean it doesn’t relate to the story at all? Sure it does. Well maybe it isn’t important that he bought a new suit, but the reader should know that, because that makes the character more real. Doesn’t it?10. What does the editor mean by episodic chapters? Are they all supposed to be about one story? But each character is so unique, never has anyone written more unique characters, and I need to tell all their stories. I don’t know how to weave their stories with the core story and this episode thing is easier.11. Present tense, past tense. Tomato, tomatoe. I concede I might not be up on tenses. Accept all.12. Eliminate a chapter? Why? No way. I refuse. It does to relate to the story? I promise. You’ll see. What do you mean you read the whole book and you don’t see where a weekend at the beach had anything to do with the hero’s vision quest? I beg to differ. Really, I’m begging. Don’t make me take that out. That brings my word count down by twenty-five hundred words. That’s a whole day’s work.13. Write this chapter from the other main character’s POV? Yeah, I guess that would work.14. Now here’s something new. Filter words. You’re picking on me. Never heard of them. What do you mean I’ve heard of ALL of them? Look here. He felt his heart beat wildly. Isn’t that a nice sentence? Emotional. Heartfelt. Okay, bad joke. It isn’t a big duh! Don’t say that. Okay, smarty pants, how else should I say it? His heart beat wildly? Oh, well, yeah, that is more concise. Yes, it does say what I intended.15. What do you mean don’t start a sentence with it? Define “it”? *Editor note* Don’t be lazy. What is it? Okay. Instead of “It was a stormy day,” I can say, “Thunder rumbled in the distance as droplets of rain plopped on my hat.” *Editor note* Excellent recovery.16. Oh, damn, that reader hated that I didn’t change that scene, like the editor suggested. Oops. Maybe six POVs wasn’t such a unique idea. What does she mean I shouldn’t give this character a POV? She’s the maid. She has to see things the heroine or hero can’t, so she can bloviate about it to the rest of the staff, out of earshot of the main characters. That’ll take up at least two chapters all told. Yay. Up to 40k.17. Oh, that reader liked how the editor had me change that scene. Cool.18. This reviewer likes my author voice. Even after all the editor’s changes.19. Okay, editor. But you didn’t catch this misspelled word. Gotcha!!!!!Writing isn’t for the faint of heart. Criticism is frequent and sometimes harsh. No place for fragile egos or hard headedness – defined as the belief that you know all there is to know about writing and will not bend to convention – after all, you have a writing style so unique, no one has ever thought of it before.There are rules and the wise writer learns them, employs them, and eventually, knows how to break them.Respect the reader – they are savvy creatures. They recognize a fraud a mile away. They give chances to struggling writers, but they know the difference between a writer and an author. They don’t care about your life experiences and struggles, they’ve got them too. Just give them a good book, for which they are willing to pay. Their criticism is, however, swift and harsh, but their praise, oh, their praise is divine. Get on the good side of readers, and they will aid you in your career. Give them schlock, and you’ll wish you were never born.We all are newbies, and remain so, to some extent, our entire writing lives. The wiser of us cast aside ego and learn our craft. We read our favored genres, study our craft, rinse and repeat. We take our lumps and learn from our mistakes. We don’t take our readers for granted, for they are the reason we write. Any writer who thinks otherwise doesn’t see the big picture.A word about promotion – don’t go on social media and shout the equivalent of “Buy my book.” There are many ways free or cheap ways to promote – guest posts on blogs that review your genre, interviews on those same blogs. Do the research.Make your website interactive and dynamic. Promote within groups on Facebook, providing a link to your book on Amazon. Be active in groups that discuss your genre. Do blog tours – five to ten blogs where you might write a short post about what inspired you to write your book, or you can offer a sneak peek, with a giveaway. I advise that you don’t give away a copy of the book you are promoting – simply because people won’t buy it while they are waiting for the winner to be announced. Even afterward, they might forget. Offer winner’s choice of your backlist. If you have no backlist, offer a $10 Amazon gift card. No need to suffer the Newbie Blues. Recognize them, work through them, and know that you aren’t alone.Until next time,Brita